This stupid democracy

I'm pretty sure my memory is failing me here. I'm pretty sure comments like these haven't just showed up in the past couple of years. I'm pretty sure these things were said during the past president's time in office, but then, with how much more indecent things seem these days it's easy to just point your every finger on the current president as the Starting Point of Everything That is Wrong.

That said, they're still weird comments, to put it one way, because of how selfish they actually are. "You should support this president," these thoughts tend to go, "because he is my president!" Like, it doesn't matter what you feel, because this person feels differently, and that feeling matters more than yours.

Okay, that perhaps is not accurate. The posts I've seen from some of the pro-Duterte people on my circles arguably sound more sinister than that. It always begins with how this president is poised to actually deliver on the change everyone else has promised - so far, so typical. You can argue the minutiae of that but it will really get you nowhere, because almost halfway through this regime minds are set and there's no entering that middle ground. And then it continues with how things have actually changed, which, again, is minutiae, because, you know, I just said all that earlier.

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Never off the beaten track

I took a dump somewhere in this train station.

"Hun, gusto ko next time mag-multi-country trip tayo."

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You just keep on pushing yourself

This, accidentally, is the best metaphor for what really is happening right now. Here I am, writing another entry that nobody will read, another pointless entry that even I won't remember for anything, and I'm writing it because I still tell myself I have to write here four times a month. And I write this after being all written out, because I have penned roughly three scripts and a programme treatment - and that's just me making things sounds more serious that they actually are.

Well, I tell myself I have to write this, if only to satisfy that internal quota that I have been, surreptitiously, complaining about the past few years, when I began writing here less because either my writing style has evolved or I have run out of things to write. Or, specifically, I have run out of time to properly observe the things around me, which leads to things I could write about. I used to be able to do that even with my earphones on, but right now I either just doze off - the consequences of a long commute - or I think of things I actually have to think of, like work.

Work. Are you earning extra when you think about work outside of work hours? Not really, no.

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Pop goes the pore on your nose

Well, here we are - the busiest weekend of the busiest week of the busiest month of the year. Thanks to some unforeseen circumstances that meant I do not have a weekend to take a breather; I will have to do more work than usual today and tomorrow, the same way I did more work than usual last weekend. By "more work" I mean "any work at all".

I have prepared myself for this, if only because we've been working to this point for the past few months. Personally, I spent those months sending invitation letters and finishing flyers and publishing web pages and designing print pages and... why the hell am I doing all these anyway?

And then there are the questions I have to field from people. This is a part of the job, but then, sometimes the questions can be really stupid - and if they come at a bad time, it will trigger your worst anxieties. "When is our event again?" a sponsor asked - a sponsor who signed up early and, thus, should have known the date by heart. Getting that text message just as this laptop freezes for the nth time brought me to a rage.

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"Huwag ka ngang bastos sa magulang mo! Pinalaki ka nila, inalagaan ka nila, nagpakahirap sila para maging maayos ka, tapos gaganyanin mo lang? Eh ano naman ngayon kung mali sila? Magulang mo pa rin sila! Tumahimik ka! Huwag kang kumontra! Magulang mo sila!"

"Huwag ka ngang puro reklamo sa presidente! Nakita mo naman, ginagawa niya lahat para gumanda ang Pilipinas! Wala nang korap! Maraming pinagagawang kalye! Wala nang trapik! Maganda ang ekonomiya! Ano ba ang nagawa mo para sa bayan? Puro ka reklamo, puro ka kontra! Putang ina mo! Tumigil ka sa kakakontra! Sumuporta ka na lang, gago!"

"Huwag ka ngang makulit! Sumunod ka sa batas! Kailangan natin ng disiplina! Hirap rin sa Pilipino, eh, kahit simpleng patakaran hindi masundan. Sabi nga, bawal manigarilyo, eh 'di bawal manigarilyo! Pupuslit ka pa. Walang hiya ka. Pero ako, dapat pwede ako dito. Hindi ako nagyoyosi. Nagbe-vape ako. Dapat pwede ako mag-vape dito, sa totoo lang..."

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