Greetings from the system

The first birthday greeting I received this year - not that I'm counting; it's just a detail worth mentioning, I think - is from a bank I do business with.

I haven't received those emails from them before, so at the very least it tells me they finally have my email address firmly in their system, even if I never really changed email addresses. These are little annoying things. Tells you they're sloppy.

But then there was something just a little more annoying about it. It wasn't really a birthday greeting.

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Thank me for my vanity

It's the last day of the year, which means everywhere you go there will be someone who's looking back at the last 365 days and pointing out just why exactly it's been a good year.

What, you're going to complain about this again?

I... I don't know, to be honest.

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My 2018 Christmas wish list

I know it's Christmas day tomorrow, and by now you've probably finished all of your gift shopping, but it's never too late to post a Christmas wish list! Well, it'll be too late if I post it tomorrow, but then there's always the next Christmas, which would make me extremely early. (Also, I did plan to write this on the 15th, but we've had no Internet for the past week, so this had to wait.)

Also, let's be honest. You're not going to buy me a gift for Christmas, or even for my birthday, which is in a couple of weeks. Or for any other occasion. I'm just doing this because other blogs have posted theirs... wait. Christmas wish lists are a thing of the past. Nobody posts these things anymore, as far as I know. I mean, I don't really read a lot of blogs. Shalla and I had a discussion about how bloggers don't exist anymore, because they've all either moved to Instagram or YouTube. Nobody reads these things. So, this is me catching up with a trend long past its sell-by date, in a place nobody will stumble upon anyway.

But whatever. I've planned this essay out for weeks. Here's my Christmas wish list.

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The assistant

"It is my honor and privilege to introduce our keynote speaker for today..."

She stands quietly by the side of the podium. She rifles through the many papers on the clipboard she was holding. She's been doing it for the past few minutes, but this time she takes the first few pages off the clipboard. Ten pages, single-file, double-spaced, filled with annotations and edits and highlights. It was the speech she wrote.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my boss..."

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pls reply asap ü

My first mobile phone was a Nokia 5110. It was a hand-me-down from my mother, who got herself a Nokia 3310 - a phone that I would later inherit, and then lose on my way home from a field trip.

While I had custody of that phone, it wasn't exclusively mine. It was also my sister's. It was 2001; we all moved to a new school, and the phone was there so we can update our parents on our whereabouts, which didn't exactly work because my sister and I were in two separate buildings, and we don't really cross paths, because, well, why would a high school freshman revisit the elementary school building? Even if that wasn't my elementary school?

Still, I had custody of the phone, which meant everything had to go the way I want it to be. All contacts in the phonebook - remember when SIM cards carried all contact information, and you can only put so much - had to be written in small letters. She had a friend called Sig (I don't think it's short for Sigourney) and on the 5110 it was written as "sig". She was her only contact; everyone else were either my classmates or my relatives.

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