6/04/2005
Spaced out

This Saturday started good and will end good because, well, it's a weekend.

It seemed a little bit awkward if old friends came in knocking on your door - but in this case it was me who went knocking.

I don't know - curiosity, perhaps, or just a lot of free time thinking about what have been - but when I found Regine on Friendster, somehow something got off on me. I don't know... is it the fact that I once, in my ridiculously twisted mind, wished we were together. As long as I can remember we were not in good terms. She had that look in first year. Something like a raised eyebrow...

My memory hasn't cooperated with me since.

So there was a breather when we met again (online, natch). Maybe it was Isah who was (indirectly) pushing me to at least think again about her. Well, my curious mind can't say no...

But I was not like, yippee, an old crush added me on Friendster - I was, weirdly, normal. Evolution, perhaps. I was calm and normal, not as hyperactive when, like, Chrystel added me. (That, however, is an entirely different topic.) Maybe it's the fact that I never expected anything out of it. I was surprised, however, when Isah told me on the first day of classes that there were still some memories. I was surprised she partly knew me.

Change does happen.

Why, after a long time feeling so sad about college, I suddenly lighten up a bit? Remember your attributes.

I don't know. There's always a sense of happiness when you reconnect - it depends on that person, obviously. In this case, well...

As I read her testimonials (and wondered at how she did it), I was thinking what could have been - again - but this time it had nothing to do with the romanticism I had in my freshman year. We could have been friends if I had made better decisions and didn't leave that school.

Again, as I said - and as she said - past is past.

Rediscovering old friends is a hard thing to do. In my case, it was because I had a lot of anger at that school, and memories of those times were always of people bullying me to pieces. This time, however, it was a different side - and it was somewhat weird to do so.

One more thing - I forgot how she looked like. So I looked it up on her Friendster blog. And then I saw it again.

Only one thing came to mind. So that's why I fell in love with her.

Please don't get angry at me. I was just so overwhelmed at what happened. But thanks for the friendship. I didn't know it was there.

And your responses...

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