9/23/2005
For once, I was clear about it

Let's put it this way. I've got nothing against anybody - whoever that may be - since I know nothing's wrong for now. So, I don't understand that, although it's a response well appreciated.

But wait - that wasn't about that thing. I was just simply amazed at how quick my intimidation left me at the start of the term. But, of course, I would still freak out, but I know it wasn't like before. I myself can't understand either why that happened in the first place - my being comfortable with your group - but I'll take it as a good thing.

And (surprisingly) it wasn't about you, and it certainly wasn't about him, and it wasn't about any of your closest friends. It was about me - possibly I'm ridiculing myself - and how much I got over my intimidations, really. I mean, hindi naman ako galit kay Cuyeg eh. In fact we're okay. The first term has been full of adjustments and I've received a culture shock on my own. If I had singled him out, then I'm sorry - but, admittedly, he represents your group, right?

Most especially, hindi ako galit sa'yo - ngayon pa? Nakakahiya na kasi yun kung ganon. Parang ang babaw ng dahilan.

I'm not angry at anybody but me, since it's been fourteen weeks of whining without me realizing that the appreciation's long been there, and I've got to say you simply misunderstood. Let's face it - I may have the wrongest idea, and you may have, too, since we don't really talk much anymore. As much as I learned from that, I wish you wouldn't just judge me from what I've said.

What I meant was, I saw your group as the perfect one - you must've noticed, probably - and I am frustrated at how lonely I could be. Simply said - nainggit ako sa inyo. But not that I feel a lot more accepted than before, I haven't got any reason to feel such.

Okay, I did my share. And - if I really have to - then I'm sorry.

Well then, I guess I have nothing more to say. I respect whatever's put in place, and I'm happy with what the forces-up-there has given me. So, till then... see you tomorrow.

(Note: If the other people are clueless about this thing, then please click here, and pay attention to the lower part. I think you'll figure out. Apologies if I was too defensive, but I just feel I've got to speak out on this. Maybe it'll help.)

And your responses...

Okay. I totally misunderstood everything you said. Kasi the way you said it, parang you were blaming the group for something we definitely are not doing. So yun. I just wanted to clear things up.

I'm sorry for the reaction.

See you in school.

Blogger aLe*9/24/2005     

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