10/10/2005
I've stopped catching them

I've decided not to make a big deal out of me having a good day today, although I think I know why it is the case. I passed by Kim's blog (I didn't know she had one) and realized how much I've let myself down for one thing.

In the middle of counting special mentions last Saturday, I thought of something. Why, I thought, have I talked about Ale for so many times?

That's not the issue anyway - it's about the past few days, and how, for some reason, despite me silently freaking out, I got a little bit comfortable with her. Even weirder, I didn't set anything - it just came into place, which made me think further. Why is this happening?

Between me and Les, last Friday, when we talked about the beauties of the block:
batallones_henrik_19: you know what?
imaqt_les: yah?
batallones_henrik_19: the one thing i wish would happen..
batallones_henrik_19: feel comfortable about ale again..
imaqt_les: yah.. u knw jst being good ol friends like before... un ung mahirap wen u like a friend.. kasi theres a chance na becoz of that masira friendship nyo..
batallones_henrik_19: yun nga yung fear ko ever since..
batallones_henrik_19: although its taking really slow..
batallones_henrik_19: at least its getting bit by bit better..
And, somehow, it's happening. Right now I'm getting comfortable in two ways (although I can't explain what those two really are), and somehow, despite my slow getting up to it, it's affecting my days in a peculiarly positive way. I'm not saying, however, that my bad days were her fault - somehow, if you really know me well, I won't take things happily if I am not sure over something. And now, I am. I must've distorted my views, but after three months of silently agonizing over what I could have done - a win-win situation - I realize I've finally moved on. It's always taken this long. Just when I thought I couldn't, I did.

So, today, after all of that eye-openers, I went to school, reviewed for International Studies, screamed my way to organizing English 2 handouts, enjoyed Algebra class for the third time (despite me getting 78% in the quiz) and spiked my way to defeat in PE class (but I felt good about it). And, yes, since it has been happening the past week, I'll say this: my ballpen's cap went off, slipped under her chair, and, for the first time probably, I tapped her shoulders, called her (almost) frantically and asked that she get it for me.

Yeah, that's a small thing, but it seems, first impressions don't always last.

I've stopped catching those falling stars. As I said a few posts ago, we're getting there - specifically, I'm getting there. And, luckily for me, it's done.

And your responses...

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