10/01/2005
What was I thinking back then?

With one jeep recklessly abandoned by every passenger it used to have, and the others back safe in the comforts of the DLSU vicinity, I'm here again, trying hard not to be overcome by every emotion I've tried to contain.

As most of you may well all know, I found myself shouting at Jom in an attempt to not be his partner. You must've guessed the reasons why. The thing is, however, I'm worried that I've drilled further a bad impression (or reputation) for myself. (For once I was concerned? Yeah.) I don't know - sometimes I've felt I'm the worst guy in the class, and I'm that guy for some people. (Better be careful about what you say, now.) I've noticed recently that I've tried my best to keep myself at a controllable level - and, especially, to a level where people will like me.

Okay. Sometimes I find myself too rambunctious. People (like Lynne, probably) are telling me that I've become too hyperactive, especially today. Right now, although I can safely say I've got through it, I feel like I ruined my reputation really badly.

Another point is, guess who were beside me when I got really angry.

But that's not the entire point of the day. After waiting in the rain and shuttling towards a lot pf jeeps just to get to the right one, we finally got to go to Barangay Tagumpay, located somewhere in the middle of Quezon City. It was tight and full of kids, and we (me and Ian) were sent off to the home of Nanay Choleng, her sons and her grandkids, among them Michelle and Michael.

We are eternally grateful (yes, we are) for having this experience. Personally, that thing calmed me down. I don't know - it was simple despite the really small space. (Again. Really small space.) I gave Michelle one of my little newspapers - you know, the ones I did in elementary (uhh, you don't know that, right?) - and I wrote down in one of the articles my thoughts on the whole thing. Consider yourselves lucky, I wrote. We've got relationships to deal with, and it makes our lives really comfortable.

Wait, that didn't make sense. But there's something else.

You guys have harmonious relationships, aside from the occasional brawls and chatters; you prefer to cooperate, while we instead throw mud at each other.

One thing that amazed me was that people just came in and out of the place. I would be surprised that someone would ask for something, tell something, or simply drop by. Although some reasons did seem too impractical, it shows a sense of real community between the thousand-or-so families in the area. (I might have gotten it all wrong. Still, that's something else.)

Most importantly, although this is overused for a great lot, we were touched by the children. When we left and went back to the barangay hall there were a lot of children playing with almost every one of us - Jason with six kids hanging in his arm, Tracy carrying a baby, and (should I mention this? You might think of something else, but I'll say that isn't intended ever) someone hugging Ale. I can say the kids did look forward to our visit. And Michelle? She was soo smart, even teaching me (supposedly) how to write love letters. Some of us might have broken to tears.

On our way home, everything was behind us. Nothing of whatever happened before. Just us freaking tired (except for me, probably) and a lot of running thoughts. Mine, however, wouldn't fit here, for it's going to become entirely political. (Maybe next time.)

Now, I wonder (further) about a few things. I saw Jackie's tag just now; earlier we've greeted her a happy birthday too many times. Yes, I'm aware of whatever is supposed to happen. I wonder: did the diabolical (not really, just complicated) plan push through successfully?

But who am I to ask? I'm not part of it (the plan, take note) anyway.

And your responses...

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