1/25/2006
Twenty-something weeks

Isah inspired me tonight (seriously) to write an extra post for the day. I missed Isah. I still wonder about what could have happened if she did stay in DLSU. She's been gone for twenty-something weeks, but it's me who just realized it flew so slowly, but it was fast for the others.

Twenty-something weeks. What did happen?

Too bad we have to drift, each and every one of us. But I think I had enough of "we really have to move on" statements, so maybe I'll leave it at that. A lot has changed, like it always does. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed at how unrelated I suddenly find myself in. Although I still keep in touch with most of my blockmates, it doesn't exactly feel the same anymore. Sticking with the BonoSoc and not understanding much is an example (but that's happened before anyway). Me and Clarence are still amazed at how infrequent we've talked. Just this morning I held Ariane's hand and somehow held it tightly. I found myself waiting at the Sports Complex and went home alone anyway.

Amidst the even more overwhelming subjects - in my case, more philosophical thoughts, cultural concepts and metencephalon evolution stages - comes the many people you end up dealing with. It's been fine, though - at least what I've complained before, that I barely know anyone from outside the block, isn't the case - and I find myself enjoying my classes. It's taken four weeks for me to get used to these faces, and then now we're working together. Amazing, I could have said, but no.

The very strength of the friendships I feared for last November hasn't faded in any way, still. That is enough good news.

But we don't really get to grab on to time, right? It's been changing too fast. Next thing we know it's May and it's another term. We're close to applying for our majors. We're going to be a lot more serious (like we haven't now). We're going to lose sense of ourselves in the long run, but at least we've preserved our sanity.

What could have happened if LR19 was still LR19 now?

Maybe less miss-yous and more I-wanna-cuts. Or maybe, more people could have seen more things happen to more people. I don't know. No one can possibly tell. But maybe we're too willing to get through that we fail to realize the silver linings in the stormy clouds that's recently dropped by our heads. We've become too busy, perhaps, to appreciate.

It's been twenty-something weeks since Isah left, since the block began to feel a gap grow. It's been that long since we began to deal with a sense of nothingness, for one part. And then now, we've moved on from the "I can't take the fact that we're splitting up" messages we've tagged on each others' blogs. We've gotten used to walking in corridors and waving at each other, to lunches at U-Break, to rushing in between swimming and relationships, to those awkward appearances at the most unexpected places. And then we did survive.

We're stronger now, much stronger.

Isah wanted me to say hi for her, so hello, blockmates! How have you been? It's been twenty-something weeks since we began to disintegrate and integrate at the same time. Despite all that, though, we did get through. And maybe we'll love each other more in the end.

"But, of course," she said.

Yeah, of course. That's what we do.

And your responses...

One of the most touching entries i have ever read. I do miss you guys. Looking forward to the day we get together as a block again.

Anonymous isah1/25/2006     

Gaaaaaaad. It's been twenty-something-weeks? That's long. Buti pa kayo namimiss blockmates mo. I don't even miss them. LOL. (Well, exception nalang yung barkada namin ah. I do miss them. ;))

Blogger jeniperr1/26/2006     

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