5/10/2006
Afraid to admit

"Bravery is saying no to what you believe is no."

Seriously, it's pretty hard to write entries when you know someone is looking at your shoulder. So please, I think I need my privacy...

...thank you. Now to continue the entry that's surprisingly up.

"Sacrifice is saying no to what you think is yes."

Last night I felt nobody wanted to talk. I guess Ariane was all it took to remind me that some people indeed have obligations before school could even begin. I texted her, I think, minutes after she arrived from school - yes, hosting those LPEP convocations, which reminds me of people in business attires, intimidating parties at the Sports Complex, and brand-new crushables - and then, wooosh, it's time to waddle ourselves in sad stories.

"Siguro I'm being too demanding kasi I like him na."

"No, that's what love does... sorry to say but I think you've fallen."

So, I ended up thinking myself. This is a world full of people who are afraid to admit. Guess it's the pressure that's doing it. Throughout this morning I was thinking of stereotypes and stuff that only the most affected, or most bored, people could ever cook up in their heads - I wonder what has to do with this?

Bound by something, gagged by stuff. Nothing to do about it.

As for me, well, I'm somehow glad to say it's been another phase of nothing-else-but-that. Although that last statement sounds a bit rude, especially if you really think about it...

"Confidence is saying yes to what you think is yes."

School's going to start in a few weeks, and as Kamikazee's blaring another obviously predictable deodorant jingle, I'm starting to make apparitions. People are starting to dream of stuff. What Clarence - and now, Ariane - has told me, dreams have got something to do with what you really wish for - Freudian theories, I know, but then again others say external stimuli have got something to do with it.

Obviously I dreamt of Kizia again two nights ago. Somehow I had to tell Ariane. "Party animals think alike!"

Then I got her reply. "Of course!" Same spirit spheres.

But maybe all of my worries can be quelled, for once. Although a new school year somehow means a new beginning, at least it's going to be a little bit of the same, and then a few changes - ironies, I know - and then, before we know it, we're panicking again.

Speaking of panic attacks, I just watched on CNN that it might rain on Kim's debut. A typhoon's apparently brewing near Mindanao. So much for a beach luau.

"Trusting is saying yes to what you think is no."

Okay, so this is out of context - and how I got Katia's mobile number without me asking nor her telling is a long story - but I feel snubbed. I feel like nobody suddenly cares for a moment.

I don't really feel bad, but isn't it time to initiate another fallout sequence?

And your responses...

snubbed? by me??

how negative

Blogger Katia5/11/2006     

Post a Comment