6/14/2006
Five for diligence

It's Wednesday again - another concert, with unknown bands that we somehow want to support, was going on during U-Break. In the midle of everything, I was up there at the SPS Building, waiting to get into the Student Council office for another meeting. I was somehow surprised to hear the voices of Ariane and Kizia resonate from the amphitheater, although Kim mentioned that to me before eight of us went for lunch.

Then again, the only thing I paid attention to, before Nadia texted me trying to confirm my attendance, was Kizia's way of hosting. Well, yes, I've seen Ariane host bits and pieces, but the latter's voice stood out more, at least from the third floor of the building. I don't know why I paid attention - still, it's breaking apart. Except, probably, for the time when the were introducing one band, and it somehow went spectacular-like.

You know, like, ta-dah!

Still I find myself wondering. For some reason - maybe circumstances did this? - I was observing her every move from up there. Was it the Big Brother-like feeling? Maybe my Simon Cowell tendencies picking on somebody I didn't expect to be picked? I switch my glances a bit and saw Kevin, talking to the two in between gigs, and somehow it seemed they knew I was watching. They looked like blobs, and I look like blobs to them, but they're still up there looking. Maybe they even waved. My paranoia working hard, maybe.

Maybe it's because I haven't seen her for so long.

Surprisingly I didn't feel anything spectacular. I don't know - I've been jumping up and down recently, maybe doing what Kevin called the shoulder lock more times than I expected. Today I knew my eyes were rolling, and I know it's been rolling in the wrong direction.

Nadia did text me, and I got into the SC office and we were almost starting. It was fifteen minutes past start time, and they haven't started yet - some delay, I guess - I couldn't prevent it. I settled for a seat much later, folder in arms, complete with surveys I tabulated in the middle of lunch, even including percentages because that's the way Sociology class taught us to do it. There I was exerting too much effort into something, even when it isn't really needed. You know, that feeling when you need to be extra active somewhere just to make up for what you're bound to lose anyway?

I've experienced misplaced irritation and apologies would want to take over my place.

I'm walking in circles. I know even know what I really want to do.

Maybe I've carried one bag that's too heavy for regulation?

I wasn't really enlightened in any way today. Maybe it's the euphoria that's marked with negativeness, the sense of hopelessness countered by a dose of preppy, sunshine-littered joy that pre-school shows promote constantly. It's conflict, it's confusion, it's me not making sense.

I'm partly lost, but I'm finding my way.

Maybe silent beginnings do deserve silent endings.

And your responses...

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