6/15/2006
"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be"

She was in green and white. I was in dark blue.

We never met, however. I was texting Sars at the bus home in between yesterday afternoon and last night, and we somehow decided not to try so hard today. Thus, "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be" - but we were still somehow excited to see if we would have matching outfits again today.

We didn't try extra hard today. She was in white and a little trace of purple. I was in yellow.

But she almost decided to wear yellow today. We didn't try that hard - maybe we didn't try at all, which could be taken positively - but we were almost there.

Funny thing is, though, Jason was wearing purple with a little trace of white. Fresh from telling me about him and Sudoy seeing a freshman that looks, wears, and (apparently) talks exactly like me - one thing that me and Sars didn't exactly grab, unless he can show us the shirt he said that kid wore that I also had - he was trying to swipe away the record. Sars pointed out he still had two days to go.

And then I wouldn't try a bit anymore.

Maybe it was the fact that I slept at almost midnight last night. I spent my last waking hour chatting with Ariane and Katia about nothing and everything in between. I wasn't gloomy today, but it surely felt like it - it was my physiology telling me that I need some sleep. I was with Ariane at the library and we were both slumped on a desk, almost sleeping. I even forgot to get some lunch.

Ariane receives particular credit for yesterday. She somehow shocked me into a reality I was surprisingly willing to accept. She didn't really have to shock me - I somehow knew about it all along. Maybe that's why I've been walking around campus, seeing people around, without anything to carry on my back, surprisingly willing to play with my fingers while I greet people I've encountered.

I even vowed that I wouldn't play with those fingers at that way.

But I guess that's why I've been not feeling myself recently. As I told Katia, "maybe I'm just not used to it" - I wasn't. Well, if not for having the past I-don't-remember-how-long-that-was swirling around like Isadora Duncan, with those flowing scarves that would later kill her, but I don't know, really. I could be trying hard to be very metaphorical last night. I think I mentioned maturity somewhere.

I'm still concerned about how I sound lately. I was surprised this came about, even. I think me and Katia, we were talking about her job interview yesterday, and I was trying to keep her up despite the negative feeling. Some random thoughts later, it drifts, and then, the one thing I wasn't sure of the past few weeks.

I met up with Clarence today. It's been a really long time, I guess, since we last met. We aren't even texting anymore. I guess she was one of the few, if not the only one, who actually made sense about what I struggled to say at my last entry, and she even took the time to actually confirm what I just dropped.

Well, maybe if not for a few things, but I was walking around campus without expecting anything anymore.

Should I even call this maturity?

I was in yellow. She was in black. I guess I didn't care much, then, but somehow I believed there's nothing wrong with taking a few details and remembering them.

I guess that's all, folks.

And your responses...

niko eto lang massabi ko... "Aawww"... txt tayo minsan ayt?

Blogger cLarEncE6/15/2006     

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