10/26/2006
Changing hearts for the eighth

The first notes, if you'd call them as such, for a Callalily song was supposedly one of those heart monitors dying out. You know, it's when they go beep, beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeep... and then you'd imagine images from television dramas where whoever was closest to the dead person would go hysterical and cry over the loss. And, there always has to be that dextrose bag connected to your arm.

Hell week for us used to mean the weeks before finals week, but these past few weeks we have been exposed to the harshest reality majors can bring: hell week is every week when you're a level higher.

Tuesday was a special holiday, and yet we all decided to work on stuff. Nothing extraordinary there, really - in fact, during the nine hours I spent online I was jumping between film notes and downloading MP3s - but seeing everyone go from groggy to groggier is a weird wake-up call. Everybody's status message either said they were busy, or they were not in the mood (as was the case with Toni). Even more surprisingly, Jackie, perennial symbol of resiliency, had this for a status message.

"Suko na ako," she said. I think.

Well, for those under Miss Diaz's research class, I think it's been pressure week. There was an announcement at the depaertment bulletin board, telling everyone concerned that they have to submit their reviews of related literature today, even if they haven't submitted the previous exercise. Even more surprising, I thought they already did that, since we at Miss Averion's class have finished that weeks ago. People have stayed up all of last night just to finish it, the way I did before - and people are still drowsy. Or it doesn't seem to be.

My personal "hells" this week have been two midterms and a lot of things to submit. The only reason why I was in school last Wednesday was that hundrred-item exam for Filipino 3 class, and despite all our pooled efforts to study, I missed a handful of items and left the classroom anxious. Today, after having come from Anima to do my rounds of participant observation, I went to school to take another midterm exam, for Literature 2 class. They were the usual gotta-have-a-knack-for-details test, and although I think I fared better, my tummy still churned. And then I was home.

And then there was a knack for surprises as well. Just last night Denisse came up to me and said we were apparently groupmates in out newspaper data collection project, which John and I worked on previously. Luckily I haven't typed anything in yet, so I had something to assign to her. So that's one more reason to stay up tonight, and one more opportunity to know people - previously I only knew Denisse as a classmate in Sociology class, as well as that girl who borrowed a calculator from me during her statistics test. Or something like it.

Although I haven't been staying up really late - there's been a collective measure to keep me sleeping early - it's been busy. And trust me - I forgot everything I was supposed to say in the paragraph thanks to a drift in my thinking.

The weirder thing about everything that's happening is, you suddenly don't have time to even think about anything personal. By now I would have been depressed, but no - work isn't just distracting me, it's removing those thought bubbles from my head. Tonight was my first reality check in days - talking to Mon about, well, stuff - and although it's been uneasy to bits I've been comfortable.

But then again, as I keep on telling Karla recently, just think this is midterms week. It could be worse, you know.

By then we'd have the dextrose ready to drip, drip, drip to eternity. Then we'll know when we have to be hysterical.

And your responses...

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