11/02/2006
But only because it doesn't mean anything

It's weird it seems we're all not doing anything substantial. Or at least that's what I've been feeling recently. I do know Jaja and Ale skipped Literature 2 class to do their field work, which means I almost spent an entire period with that Timmy guy - I was already rude to him, for when he wants everyone's attention we all cover our ears - until Miss Pam announced yet another early dismissal. I do know Dhi still had to bring her laptop along for that paper. I do know I haven't seen much people today, probably a result of being busy with whatever it is they're busy about.

And yet I don't feel busy.

Then again I'll soon be deep over, among others, research for Filipino 3 class, both a poetry festival and a play for Literature 2 class, the study I've been working on, an interview with a journalist, television shows to watch, film notes to write - and, of course, wrestling with hard-to-find handouts. Yes, the funny thing about our handouts for tomorrow is, nobody seems to be able to see it, even John - to think everybody else thought he probably got it first. But no, he hasn't, apparently.

And, so far, that's how life is. Weirdly, it hasn't been moving forward, and I've been spending too much time passing by corridors knowing what's there and pretending that it isn't. I've been spending five hours waiting for something to come up - even work - but I'm stuck, as always, in the library flipping through old newspapers trying to know who used to own those out-of-print titles. Or, even more familiarly, looking for someone to have lunch with, and see them leave you later on. Then again, I'm just bored as usual, finding myself with itchy hair, almost-deaf ears and sleepless eyes.

And the moments seem so far away, that whenever I realize I am turning my back, walking differently, and pretend that a camera is there to point to a fictional audience that I'm making a fool out of myself imagining that there is a camera out there, I realize that I'm as lost as a camper without a compass. Or, even worse, knowledge of astronomy.

I must be looking for poetry. After all, Jaja sent me a really ambiguous message, Kizia's somehow putting on the pressure (without seeming to have any hint of cooperation, or it's me thinking of that), and I'm to sleep in a few hours, practically giving every hope of getting things done up.

Something is in the air again. Yas is right, or at least her status message is. Should I catch it?

And your responses...

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