1/18/2007
Bring your own megapixel to work

It's as if it was (coincidentally) done on cue. The conversation was already swinging.

Hrm. Sort of in between, I should say. I mean, you see someone you really like and don't get excited. And then you don't see the same person and don't feel anything either. But there'd be times when you get excited (or depressed) when you either see her or not.

Five minutes later, something appeared on the window quite ceremoniously. Monica Alcoseba has signed out.

My photos came out pretty well, although I'll have to reshoot a lot of them still. Out of the fifteen I ended up taking, two never showed up, and only four had proper focusing. (Lau's photo was even a bit overexposed, but I didn't mind that.) As if it was trying to say something either, probably about my photographic abilities, or the fact that I'm meant to be sheltered and thus go along with Luke Pritchard singing you're so naïve, yet so...

Forever naïve? Oh please. Probably now you'd be wondering why there was just a lot of noise at M215, while everyone but me was working on our first InDesign exercise and me getting a lot of questions, as if it wouldn't be any obvious. Then again I was trying my best to provide myself with distractions, probably with inane tasks like bringing dollys down the stairs to posing for friends' videos to thinking about getting a new phone, and misidentifying the need. Upon realizing I (still) have a twenty dollar bill in my wallet, I thought I actually have a headstart on buying an older but cheaper (and less flashy but still flashy) phone.

As if I'd eventually matter. I'd use it for communication, but when I decide to trust people, or even get coerced for it, I'd later realize that I wasted a lot of effort. Quite simple said, and only because they'd eventually forget about what I said - and trust me, I am telling people, from years back, the same story without fail - and when I open it up, they'll ask me to explain all over again. I actually wonder if anybody does care. So maybe that's why I never opened it up to Steph again, even if technically you'd probably see us around more often without you thinking of anything else. Well, except probably for the catcalls.

Which brings me back to Mon logging out - or, maybe, she got disconnected, but it's taking her a long time to get back. Is she even trying to get back? No hostility or anything, but maybe this is what happens when you have such a good conversation going, only for it to get snapped in the middle, and you getting a reality check. Because, in the middle of me searching for another person to talk to, everyone either logs out or are "busy" with something. And I'll give it to them. Maybe when I didn't I wouldn't be here in the first place. Echoing in my head: maximum tolerance.

But today, though, she pointed out that I am in a good mood. Or, at least, I sounded like it. As if I was in a bad mood for the past week, for no particular reason on anything, but maybe when I aimed the camera upwards and eventually realize it's still out of focus, you'd get irritated at the fact that it is out of focus.

On second thought, though, I've had many backs turned against me in those photos. And, quite annoyingly at one point, one of those backs stands out. Maybe that's what it was trying to tell me. Yes, yes, I can't quite care a bit right now, but I know it ain't over until I get there. And I wish I didn't, or else I attach meanings to meaningless things again. That isn't really a bad thing, though, if done in intelligent moderation. Think about it.

Henrik Batallones has signed out.

And your responses...

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