3/08/2007
Your issues and indie music combined

The family's still breathing down my neck, but then again, I haven't got anything to do tonight. I can't chat with (the other) Ella because she isn't here; probably she's on the way to work. I can't start thinking about our talk radio script because I can't remember the music Jason suggested last Monday. Even worse I can't help but think I'm not supposed to come home early, for some particular reason - if photography has already got me confused, what more when you throw in statistics and community service?

We're situated on the ninth week of the term. By now it's supposedly crunch time - you throw in projects from election reports to camera handling, and add in online enrollment which starts next week, and for some, throw in a little bit of extra-curricular, err, curry. Yet, even if I'm not finding it a breeze, it seems like I'm still going home early, finding myself without anything to do in nights like this - it's basically surprising, considering how busy I expected myself to be by this time. True enough, my friends who are taking up video production aren't any happier; not only are they getting failing marks on basic exercises with the final theme, apparently, being about last chances, but they're also losing sleep looking for actors and making sure the camera doesn't get shaken the way James Bond likes it.

And I think my parents are becoming happy, simply because I'm getting sleep. But I'm getting itchy feet, continuously wondering why I'm not yet worrying about my photo essay, or our still life shots for that matter. Sure, my weekends are being busted by five-page requirements that actually require a lot of thinking, but there are still times when I become so lazy I decide to sleep it all off while leaving the radio on. Like, who else can spend three hours doing nothing but chat about fictitious radio stations and draw up programming clocks on Doodle? I actually start to feel bad for my classmates, who are basically sick yet decide to work on stuff in the dark room.

Believe me - I am a sucker for work, at least initially. I think that's one thing I have in common with a few others - Jason, Karla, Sarah as Jaja describes it - and yet, I haven't basically realized that. Then again, these people could be working for the sake of eventually dreaming of a beach vacation, or whatever else applies. I think I got it, but not really - that prospect just draws further away, until you, well, lose it.

Or maybe - just maybe - I'm just that, err, "brilliant" to make these things work. And yet I feel as pressured as meat being cooked in, well, you get it.

But really, now. I know someone will eventually snap me out of my senses and proclaim that I should cherish these moments because they'll all be gone soon. A check at my course flowchart says it all - next term, I'll be working with video, television, and basically everything else. I can't even think of whether I'll need to stock up on energy drinks and bring that ridiculously bulky backpack bringing provisions for my survival. Although people would say I'm hyperactive enough to last the entire day, I'll say otherwise - people like me also get tired. You know, things getting nowhere despite every effort to do so? We also get frustrated. Eventually, we're all the same.

So maybe when I find myself looking very weird precisely because I'm talking about radio and am excessively excited about it, I'll just shrug the thought off and think that somewhere out there, people engage in the same conversation, in different proportions. Speaking of which, Ella just went online, and we're talking again, this time about love problems and why (probably) I seem to get a grip of these things despite me not having experience to speak of. Like, Karla was dangerously close to giving my (useless) secret a public offing, but think about it.

I'll go switch to love doctor mode, and we're off.

And your responses...

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