5/29/2007
Tributes for Drew

Monday was tragic for the college. But yes, I don't know the guy. I only knew him as Drew, and only after picking up the name from Norman's entry. I've seen a lot of tributes, of him as the fun guy at the fifth floor of the SPS building. But it takes someone closer to get me thinking about my future.

I'm scared of death. I guess everybody is. For me, the mere thought of not being able to perceive is enough to get me shaking. I obviously don't know anything about what happened before I came to this world because I wasn't able to observe anything, and since I'm now a happy human being who is able to see, hear, smell, taste, touch and love, I don't want that to disappear. I'm not going to disregard this - I'm as concerned as anybody else who's heard of the news - but I don't want to think of it. I think I've had enough exaggerated tragedies to deal with, and they're still coming my way.

I'm not living my life the way I'm supposed to, right? Exaggerated tragedies. Right now it stands for fluff in place of substance, of flimsy storylines when you need some solid acting. Karla was at the receiving end again - she's got to be, for some reason - and while it was underway I realized how fluffy, for lack of a better term, my problems are. Look - I worry about appearances, about getting noticed, about getting what I really want, or at least what I think I do. He couldn't possibly worry about dying, and only because he already is dead. But only God knows what he was worrying about. I believe it's more substantial than anything I ever have.

I actually heard it first from Meg. The two worked together for Malate and I grabbed the description from her. I remembered how happy she was when we talked the morning before, how amazed she was when I was showing her the layout I did without using InDesign. Maybe he was there. I cannot be sure. My head's a little drained from the night before at that time. I was thinking about precisely that - keeping up appearances, for something that doesn't even exist, or shouldn't. That evening, he was dead. I was thinking again.

Normally I never go sentimental over someone's death. It took me a week to finally cry over my grandfather's death, and it was a moment I never volunteered. Crying, Chex said, is the real sign of being a man, and yet I never took it to myself to express what I really felt. I was such a wuss to even worry about losing my handle of myself and just cry. A film has done that to me, and they understood, but heck, I'm still worried as hell. What more if it was on a sturdier reason?

I actually do not have anything to worry about. I guess envy takes over and you find yourself thinking it could have been you. Then again, circumstances could be very different, and maybe I find myself not feeling anything. I might be like Drew, dead all of a sudden, and without pressing it. They say his was a death rushed, because nobody thought of his emergency as an emergency. And yet my "emergencies" I keep on pushing to others, and they know right when it isn't. I haven't grown up, it seems.

He's lived nineteen, maybe twenty years. Look where he is now. I won't compare myself to him, but think about it. He's probably done more in his short life than I have in one that still hasn't found its way to the electric switch.

At seven past ten, the rains stop. Wednesday, and I guess the folks at Malate would mourn further. We've forgotten by then. Or maybe it has slipped. But one thing I learned today in class, is that we make things more memorable when we keep on talking about it. His wasn't fluff. Mine is. I hope I could compel myself to make changes, for - honestly, this isn't going anywhere. It's juvenile rhetoric, and it remains to be, and it will still be. Does it take a death to realize that?

The story surrounding Drew Gloria's death remains indefinite to most. Some say he choked, while some say he's had an asthma attack. One thing remains, though: he was sent to the clinic - he was at the SPO office - and the nurse didn't really take his case seriously, because apparently, she was on the phone. Only later did she freckle and realize that it was a serious emergency. The stretchers were late; he died on the way to the hospital.

I don't know what would happen tomorrow. Life goes on for most of us, but for the people I know, there is obviously a loss. And even if I don't know him, my thoughts will still be with his family, friends and colleagues. And Drew, this one's for you. Funny thinking you get attention when you die, and not because of what you've done while you're here.

And your responses...

One thing remains, though: he was sent to the clinic - he was at the SPO office - and the nurse didn't really take his case seriously, because apparently, she was on the phone. Only later did she freckle and realize that it was a serious emergency. The stretchers were late; he died on the way to the hospital.

- i guess this is a lesson, please be careful what you say. Because the story changes as it changes ears. parts/details of this version quoted are inaccurate. I just thought i'd let you know.

Anonymous katz6/02/2007     

"Funny thinking you get attention when you die, and not because of what you've done while you're here."

~ I'm sorry but I beg to differ. It's understandable because you did not know Drew but please be careful in using your words.

He DID NOT get attention because he died. I do agree that circumstances dictated the attention he had. It was ironic to have the clinic in the same building where the tragedy happened. It was a shocking incident, happening to someone at such a young age.

But this 'attention' you say was only a magnification of who he was to everyone when he was living, when he was still here. The tributes, blog entries, everything that transpired is a proof of this. Even the people who knew him was surprised at the love he received when he died. (Actually, now that I see it, it's not a surprise at all.) He was very very special. He IS special. You have read the tributes, yes?

But thank you for acknowledging his death :)

The glorification of his death was only inevitable. Why else would he have the last name, Gloria?

Anonymous Asia6/03/2007     

Post a Comment