7/09/2007
Appreciation

"Pag namatay kaya ako, anong gagawin ng mga tao?"

"I-b-
blog ka. Hahaha."

"Seryoso ako.
For some reason, lumapag na naman ako sa Friendster profile ni Drew. Ganon kaya mangyari sakin? Or is it too late?"

"Nyaaa."

"I mean, sa dinami-dami kong nakilalang tao sa DLSU, parang iniisip ko kung ano ang
impact ko sa tao. Pero di ko naman malalaman yun until mamatay na ako. At di ko siya malalaman dahil patay na nga ako nun. At dun lang lalabas lahat."

"
Yeah. Unless na talagang magaling ka at ma-b-blog mo pa. Hahaha. Joke lang."

"Alam kaya ni Drew ang lahat ng yun nung buhay pa siya?"

"Wag kang ganyan...
ask Norman. Kabarkada niya eh."

"
Obviously... featured friend eh. Pero seryoso. Yung lahat ng comment ng mga friends niya na pinost ngayon, kahapon... ewan ko lang. Ano kaya ang sasabihin ng tao sakin?"

"Well, siguro, hindi na natin dapat isipin kung ano ang impact natin sa ibang tao. Dapat siguro, gawin na natin yung sa tingin natin dapat natin gawin. Wag nang isipin yung 'iisipin ng ibang tao sa'yo'."

"Kaya nga. Kaya lang, parang ang sarap siguro ng pakiramdam na alam mong may
outpouring of grief na hanggang ngayon nag-e-exist. Pero sa akin parang... wala. Parang may malulungkot, oo, pero hanggang dun lang. Wala na. I dream na kapag mamatay ako, may tribute. Hahaha. Tribute. Yung tipong kahit hindi naman ako deserving malalaman pa rin ng tao yung mga bagay na hindi ko alam sa sarili ko. Yung mga bagay na hindi nila sinabi sakin. Yung mga bagay na ayaw nilang sabihin. Malay ko. Baka mamaya si, uhm, Char may crush pala sakin."

"Hahaha. Yun ang birit. Seryosong usapan tapos biglang si Char...
anyway, yeah, oks na feeling yun."

"Pero hindi mo nga malalaman. Wala ka nang
empirical proof na nangyari yun kasi wala ka nang senses para ma-experience yun. Kahit ano pang sabihin nilang 'naramdaman kita sa Cybernook na nag-u-update ng blog...'"

"
Let's put it this way. Siguro, people should learn to express appreciation habang buhay pa yung tao."

"Ayun.
I have always felt unappreciated. Kaya siguro ako ganito, habang buhay, nag-iisip ng ganito."

"
Well then. Henrik, ako ay elibs sa'yo."

"Dahil? Hindi sa sinasagad ang
ego satisfaction, pero..."

"Una, ang galing mong magsulat. Pangalawa, sobrang oks ang mga
ideas mo, hindi ka nauubusan. Pati energy mo. Hahaha."

"Hay. Kailangan siguro maging sobrang sikat para maging ganun no? Or maging
extraordinary ang circumstances ng pagkamatay mo. Si Princess Diana. Hanggang ngayon, di ba?"

"Ngak. Haha. Alam mo, naaalala ka ng tao, pero sa huli, mamamatay rin sila, so wala na.
To make things simpler, galingan na lang sa lahat ng ginagawa mo. Hindi kailangan na ma-appreciate ka ng tao o anuman. Basta alam mo, sige. Habang buhay ka pa, nakatulong ka. Let's go zen. Hahaha."

I should have actually started it. I mean, even I am contributing to everybody else's stress, of wondering about what they will be leaving behind if and when they have to go.

So, I'll have to say I like Jem for staying nice even if she seems to be very annoyed at me.

And I like Mara for being, well, Mara.

And I like Steph for being there even if I don't expect her to be there.

And I like Jason. Yes, I like Jason. Even if he's such an annoying person there's still part of him that points out the right things.

And I like Clarence because of her laugh and the way it makes me feel good about things.

And I like Danggay because she is so open to things, even though it may hurt, but she does everything to keep it under control.

And I like Sarah for all the obvious reasons.

And I like Kim for being there when I have a story to tell.

And I like John because he's probably the only one to sweat it out through everything.

And I like Naomi because of the lunch breaks, and the soup kitchen raids, and the weird conversations after philosophy class.

And I like Celine because, well, she seems to be in control of herself.

And I like Meg because she's just very fun to be with.

And I like Huey because he's so appreciative.

And I'm bound to miss someone. Obviously I have so long a list, and so little time.

"
Permission to post this for the blog, Karla."

"Tae."

"Eh."

"
Noooooo! Walang hiya ka. I'll never talk to you na. Ever."

"Hrmph. Di naman ito patibong. Naisip ko lang. Paano nga kaya kung namatay ako? Maaalala kaya ako sa paggawa ng
blog entry na hindi naman binabasa dahil pinapatamaan ko na lang kung sinu-sino?"

"Nye. Ang tanong, Yun lang ba kasi ang ginagawa mo?"

And your responses...

hmm...i think im not entitled to say this because i have no connection with you or whatsoever...but i have to agree with your friend...you really dont have to ponder what others think of you because you will just end up being miserable...as for no one seems to appreciate you..i think u have nice friends who really accept for who you are..and isama mo na din ako dyan hihi kaya nga I'm a frequent visitor of your blog...galing mo kasi e haha sensya na that im not making any sense...we really have 0 connection but here i am talking like i know you...bsta gudluck po kaya mo po yan^_^

Anonymous Anonymous7/11/2007     

another bloghopper here. and yes, i totally agree.

first came to this blog since ung edsa 3 (no classes coz of the supposed coup d'etat) post pa. appreciated it for all the details (coz i was having polsci then and afraid might be quizzed by the then current events, haha) and the personality. and has been visiting every once in a while since then.

i like that writing style of yours. you don't skimp out on the details, even on the conversations in-between. much like that it makes me feel as if i really was where you were. (though admittedly, sometimes i get lost somewhere in between posts, hahaha).

another thing i like is how you seem to attract other interesting bloggers. gone through some of your links and liked some.

you deserve to have your own radio/talk show. i suppose with your stories or reflections or conversations with other interesting people, you could fill up an entire time slot w/o the need for songs or commercial ads.

so dont worry if you die (knock on wood). you know you're well appreciated, at least by the online community. =D

Anonymous ~7/14/2007     

Hope I can say a word about what ur sentiments, if I may...you will be remembered by everyone...that's for sure...but hey, from another perspective, we're all still young and well, yeah...I even admit of thinking of stuff if something does happen to me and if other peeps remember me too...anyways my point is that, people (from the blogosphere) remember u alraedy, even if you're alive...you've made a difference in other people's lives, in entertaining/informing readers...and that's what matters...(at least thats how I see it from my perspective)...for now, relax...now Im no preacher or whatever...just wanna brighten up ur day, hope it helps...(though I personally souldnt be meddling into other's lives, I juz wanted to help...) peace! ^_-

***sorry if it sounds too disorganized...

Blogger Saturn De Los Angeles7/15/2007     

henrik! talga naman nasama pa ko jan! crush??? watda! hahaha matagal ko na rin iniisip yan. kahit before pa nung drew incident, iniisip ko na kung ano mangyayari pag namatay ako. kaya nga gusto ko na mamatay para mangyari na, hindi ko nga lang malalaman.

Blogger kwentoteller7/15/2007     

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