8/06/2007
Friends forever boyfriend never

It's just terribly wet at the third floor of the Miguel building. It's never been like that for the longest time.

Should we consider the rain as a pleasant surprise? I mean, sure, we're supposedly in a drought, and after a million calls for water conservation, and the Catholic Church (sort of) systematically praying for rains, I came home through a flooded main artery, which didn't really affect me because I was inside a bus. Still, I didn't bring a jacket, and the rains were just stronger than I expected.

"Darn," I conceded to Lizette last night. "I sound pathetic, do I?"

I came to school today with the skies still usually clear, although it's been cooler than usual. The past few days it's been drizzling, and so far it's not making much of an impact on the perceived water crisis us folks in Luzon are experiencing. Probably there was Mafe so engrossed in her headphones she doesn't hear the security guard allowing her to cross the road, and then there was me starting to make sense of almost an hour's worth of raw footage for that autobiography project. As the rains began to fall - and fall it really did - I ended up with an eighteen-minute final cut. Miss Trini had me cut it to half by that afternoon. I only got as far as four minutes before I left.

And with the rain comes a need to snuggle up, at least to something. I think everybody was caught off-guard. I didn't see anybody wearing a jacket, or at least bring one. Naomi was even wearing something whose actual name is beyond me, but it certainly didn't work in the rain, and to think she had to bring back all the equipment her group borrowed for class on campus. For half an hour I was waiting for her at Munch Alley, and after seeing Misha, Caresse and EJ come in both directions - well, you get the idea, I hope.

Today wasn't necessarily a bad day for lonely hearts. Mine isn't - it's just confused with all the laughing I made while watching my first edit for the documentary. It's just confused with all the introspection I surprisingly massed up for myself in merely implementing this concept. The guy most of us only know as Mr. Antiqueño said he won't really do this if he was in my shoes. But, heck, I felt adventurous, and adventure is what we really need nowadays, if only to keep us warm.

And Lizette's advice to me yesterday afternoon was simple. I should go get a girlfriend.

I'm not going to miles to insist that this is true. I only had Naomi chuckle at this part when it got mentioned in the documentary. As I said in my voiceover, I have to get my priorities straight before I decide to do something. But I guess, last night, my still mysterious sort-of-online friend was in the mood to tell me things despite her doing a report on some natural whatever. "Before you do that," she bluntly said, "I would give you a really good makeover, because you're not really the sort who gets boyfriends. Err, girlfriends. I mean girlfriends." And then I started to sound pathetic.

And why I am able to connect that conversation to the rain remains something I won't try to wonder about. I remember joking with Mirielle today about the rain, when we met after quite a while, and then it occurred to me that I won't be able to think of such lazy daisy connections if not for me being too engrossed in something. "You have this self-absorbed way about you, but you are very eager to please and rather self-conscious," she typed in. "Paradoxical, don't you think?"

In my head, Sir Bayot, could you explain paradoxes again?
Well, isn't it really funny? I told her I realized she's far more intelligent than me, but twenty hours later I flipped the statement for myself because, well, she's still unbelievably clueless about some things. You know, the type only Karla knows. And I guess we have to keep it that was if you're to wonder why she never shows up in that documentary aside from the fleeting mention. (That's exactly the point. That afternoon was a killer.) But the rains grew stronger this afternoon, and when Naomi and I were out looking for lunch, I started to feel a little bit more hopeless, and only because I don't have a jacket, and I felt more vulnerable, trying to think of a way to throw in what I just learned about myself - the meaning of self-absorbed among others - in a situation that's too crazy to tell.

But I felt a little more chillier when, while on our way out of Z2, for some reason, (undoubtedly a new couple if you know where to look) Maita and Coco making their way in, or maybe out, who knows? It's as if the terribly bright flash from Lizette's camera came to my eyes again, and the next thing I know, I'm working on an eighteen-minute clown of a documentary.

And your responses...

i wonder...does our happiness depend on other people?

Anonymous Anonymous8/09/2007     

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