9/09/2007
Endearingly magnetic for a misfit

Today's biggest surprise came from Anna. I got a text message from her on a terribly lazy afternoon, and she was asking me whether I could watch today's DLSU-ADMU basketball game.

"Hopefully," I answered. "Why?"

"I was wondering if you could record the half time performance. Milan's gonna do trads again."

So, one, I'm asked to record something. Two, she's dropped jargon, whatever she meant with trads. And, yes, I don't have a way to record it. The mobile would be shaky and have a terrible quality. Same with the video camera, plus there's absolutely no way I'd be able to capture it.

Yesterday we were also chatting. That one was about our schedules, and turns out we'd be classmates on two classes for this term, for the first time in our academic lives. (Honestly.) As expected the conversation jumped from that, to sponsorships, to sneak-ins, and inevitably to the short term break. Before she posted her comment I was already pondering about closeness while I was closing the gate to our residence's garage. Obviously there's no way to determine that.

Within this week, Naomi somehow managed to sneak in three virtual hugs in our chats. Surprising, considering that she's the one who isn't really keen on physical contact, much like Mae - the one from Las Piñas, not the one from Quezon City - is. I think it's more because of the favors she's somehow found herself asking me to do, like having a photo edited for a blog entry, and last Thursday, for advice on being a spin doctor, to say the least. Sure, it's pretty evident that we've been close this term, thanks to us sharing the same breaks last term, and being classmates in all but one class. It could be me, or I'm just not used to getting something out of time spent with someone, partly because of my inborn cynicism.

When my mom brought out her car yesterday afternoon, a thought bubble was already forming in my head. Surely there's no way to determine closeness to a person, but inevitably it happens in every decision we make. It's on who we ask questions to, or advice, or the occasional laugh. It's on the stories we decide to tell, or if we tell them anything even. How does the selection process go about, then? Either we get tired of someone after a week of intensive socialization, or we lose touch within a year of separation, or we meet again after a decade and share the same enthusiasm as before.

One thing I learned from philosophy classes with Sir Unson - aside from all that I've written in my reaction papers, and the little realization Naomi had on the very last day - is that there's no independent basis for anything. Sure, that lesson applied to everything that's religious in nature, but it could as well apply to decisions in life, or better yet, to the way we deal with people. Subjective, you might want to say. I can do away with recent attempts to think badly about people, but I could think that all of this is for utility's sake - because I'm useful to them in one way or another - but I haven't been for the past few. I couldn't possibly say the same for Issa, because after a year or so chatting, we haven't, and that's because she's always busy lately. Nothing still compares to our old crazy excuses for a conversation that jumps from Kizia to Sarah to Mara to God knows who else. You know what I mean, right?

That's one for the confusion's battle with rationality. Thus, we find ourselves a need to pick sides, to change sides, to abandon one for another, to argue about something regardless of how crazy the argument is. You can say it makes for an adventurous way of living life on this planet. I'd usually say it makes life more worthless, much more because I grew up reading manuals on operating home appliances and recipés on the back of can labels. I'm giving you that. Or maybe it's because there just isn't much time with regards to developing all of this closeness - fourteen weeks with Naomi, for example, as opposed to almost two years with Issa. And there is still a communication gap; the conversations have become more sporadic than the plagues.

So, it seems, it's another one for confusion. But at this point I'm not in a position to question why I've been endearingly magnetic with Jem for a few times, and leave everything to chance. Most probably the halftime show is ongoing - my sister has flipped the television to HBO, most probably because of a commercial break - and I've decided not to record anything since it won't look good anyway. Then again, Anna unleashed something even more surprising before all this.

"Yay! Again, you da bomb," she replies with a wide grin at the end.

I think I have some explaining to do come society class tomorrow.

And your responses...

Explaining?? What is there to explain? :P Oh and by the way, we were classmates during INBROAD! Tsktsk. You've forgotten. We reported on Moe Twister remember?!

Blogger Anna9/09/2007     

don't think way too much about it. just be thankful for everything. honestly speaking, i'd give just about anything to have the same "magic" you have with people to make friends out of them.

Anonymous ~9/10/2007     

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