12/20/2007
A bed beneath the stars that shine

Let it be said, that the very point of this entry is to say something I have most probably said so many times already: we're a very confused bunch. Yesterday we want things to stop, as it's becoming too much for us to handle. Today we want things to roll, as the boredom that follows is becoming too much for us to handle. So what, really?

It's been two days since we got our course cards and, yes, I shall admit, I am becoming very bored. At least it isn't as much as the term breaks previous to this one - I spend my mornings mopping the floor of the entire house, and taking a bath afterwards. My mom's friend (surprisingly) gave me a copy of the book Misunderstimated, an account on George W. Bush's adventures, so to speak, in dealing with Iraq and John Kerry. Four days later, I'm already two-thirds into the entire book, trying to read as less as possible for fear that I'd finish it early and be bored all over again.

At least that book got my mind active. I just finished journalism class with a 4.0 - a surprise for me, because I was expecting a 2.5, but not for everyone, who's always seen me recite. (If it helps, the only other person who recites as often as me, Misha, got a 3.5 in her card.) My mind still reels of political issues, and now that I've already detected a conservative bias on the book - a funny thing since I place myself on the center-left - I've been hooked. Laughing, even, at the way it is written. It feels like continuity for next term, since I am going to spend another term with Miss Bacalla, probably to the relief of the rest, doing investigative journalism.

Aside from that, though, nothing much. I'm not like Lizette with many books at her disposal. I still spend hours in front of the PC, reading up on stuff nobody else cares about. There's the occasional conversation with people who would give in to conversation, since they're as bored as I am. But at night, I end up sleeping too early, but my body wouldn't budge - it's too bored to realize that trying to fall asleep would keep it occupied until it does fall asleep. Ironic, I know.

I was just talking to Lau today, about their thesis and the Maroon 5 concert next year. It lasted under thirty minutes, when I eventually realized that the well of small talk - as Bill Sammon put it in that book I've been reading - has dried up. Well, it's always been like that - the problem with not being close to people - but the funny thing was, for a moment, I was creating storylines for their thesis, rather than conjuring images on ours! As Lau laughed at the prospect of students shunning teachers for dancing along to This Love, I wondered why I haven't started on ours - or at least entertained the idea - since I'm heading the screenwriting process at the start of the term.

And there goes the operative. Start of the term. We are on holiday, and thus we're supposed to forget anything that involves school for a bit, and get ourselves well rested for whatever happens next. But it seems everybody wants that fasttracked - well, at least after the holidays, of course, then we could wish for school to start, because we're being killed with idleness. I don't know whether I'm luckier than the rest, because I'm flying away to Hong Kong in a week, and at least I'll be planted in a new environment and everything will be new to me again. Insert fascination, kill burnout, and then it happens again. Burn, burn, fry. We'd want out, then we'd want out again. Maybe Lau is right with her status message. "Masaya din naman maging bored," she writes in.

For the moment, however, as I mull over how to mop the floor quicker and with less effort - I think we're more than traumatized with stress - let me choke myself with a chocolate chip cookie. Chewy, isn't it?

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