1/06/2008
Heartbreak

"Which is?" I asked Mae.

"I forgot," she laughed back. "We'll know tomorrow."

"Paano ngayon yan," I answered. "I shall be behind. You know law, I don't..."

"Oh my. I don't have Mig classes."

It never sank into me, the fact that this might as well be my very last term in college. And no, this paragraph isn't place here to mock Mae and the rest of her kind who would have to stay for two more years - the point is more on the subtler approach change decided to play on us. A four-day class week, a moved (or literally non-existent) U-Break, another change of priorities, and yes, that - another change of priorities. Lately I have been talking to people about futures, for some reason, and only because I felt like it.

"If I can't make it to radio," I told Rozette two days ago, "I want to start doing work experience first."

"Yeah!" she answered. "Experience is important pa naman."

"Oo nga. My closest to experience is... claiming a prize!"

My classes tomorrow start at twenty past four, which means, for the start of the term at least, I'll be spending two mornings a week mopping the floor before preparing for school. Today, though, I finally started thinking about our thesis - that one thing that will define the rest of my term. That, and the two other major classes I'm going through. I just realized they're also a pain on the calendar.

"Gugawa ka ulit ng bagong script, di ba?" Jason asked.

"Gagawa ulit," I answered, grinning virtually. "Pero wala lang nagagawa."

"Yun lang!" he grinned back.

Lately I have been getting good luck messages. Lizette and Dexter, two new online friends slash rabid blog readers, have done the same, in their own little chaotic way.

"Good luck on your first day of classes," Dexter said, probably as nervously as yesterday.

"Thank you," I answered. "You start tomorrow too, so the same goes to you!"

"Er, not really," he answered. "I started last Thursday pa. Last term, right? Or is it the second to the last?"

"Supposedly the last," I sighed.

If only I could breathe easily. I have only lately felt the apprehension for the start of classes, unlike the last terms when I silently smiled at the thought. Indeed this is proving to be far more momentous that I thought, with people actually disappearing although presuming they will stay there.

"It's sinking in..." Mae wrote, virtual, presumably half-exaggerated tears flowing. "That just ruined my almost-ended night."

Well, I guess there are second options, right?

"Wala akong pasok pag Monday," Piyar blurted.

"Andaming walang pasok bukas," I openly wondered, half-conceding defeat. "Ikaw, si Cuyeg... kayo." Virtual laugh.

So I am making a big fuss out of it again. But no, it's not the departures, nor the disappearances, nor the fact that, finally, things are most probably beyond recognition. It's the feeling in the gut, that one feeling we've always associated with everything, and yet never understood. I'm sure it's been very prominent lately, among everyone I know, and everyone I'm bound to know in the next fourteen weeks. If this does prove to be the last hurrah for us, then I hope we do it well.

"Sige sige," Jason replied. "Kita na lang bukas if ever. Tulog nako."

"All right, all right," I answered. "Bye."

And I'm sure I can trust correctly that everybody's all too used to this turbulence. We know the drill - oxygen masks come down the ceiling, and if it does, go take it to your face and get high in compressed purity. And, if they say brace, brace, then, well, brace.

Who would've thought, though, that , this is almost it?

"Well," I typed in. "I guess the next line is, see you around tomorrow."

Misha laughed back. "See ya, Henrik."

"If I'll see you," I replied, hoping to get another response. I didn't.

To the rest of us, good night, and good luck.

And your responses...

tsk. Goodbye Miguel Building :(

Good thing there's still thesis. hee.

Anonymous Mae1/07/2008     

false alarm! i have genders! hahahaha your whole entry is now void. haha sorry

Anonymous mae1/07/2008     

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