1/01/2008
Resolutions

I have actually forgotten how long our term breaks are during the holiday season. I mean, it apparently can stretch to three weeks, which is welcomed especially by our tattered psyches. I guess we've gotten used to the idea that vacations do not exist in DLSU, or we're just a very demanding bunch of students.

And yes, although six days seem so long, it wouldn't be enough. I still have the urge to cuddle up on a comfortable bed and sleep the days away, especially now that we've come home from Hong Kong. Now that I have thought of it, I wonder why we find the urge to prepare excessively for a vacation and get tired in the process, when all we want is to escape stress in the first place. Everybody at home slept through the fireworks except me - and I slept nine hours afterwards. And I didn't want to wake up.

Six days do seem so long. You tend to reserve tasks for the next day - a leftover of the procrastination we've done so well during classes - and, when the last of the free days arrives, we shrug the thought and decide to do better on the next opportunity, which comes, well, a long time after the last one.

Maybe it's just me who also finds a need to get myself prepared for school - for the last two terms, however, that has become irrelevant, since my classes on Mondays are at around four in the afternoon. Besides, when you finally place one foot in the campus, you've flipped back to study mode without ever really trying. Then you realize that, after all the work has been done and your wits have been exhausted, it's over. It's a vicious cycle - you can't get anything you really want to do done.

Yes, stress beckons. Or it's just me. Don't tell me I'm alone on this one.

I think the same applies to those who do those darned resolutions every new year. They think twelve months is a long time to start, say, losing weight, or asking that girl out, but a fatal combination of reality, actuality and fantasy make you unable to actually do something. Come December, you're wondering about what you have done, check back, and realize that everything has slipped off your mind. I was too busy, you might say, or it just wasn't possible, especially with the position I'm in.

Sometimes metaphysics is a complicated thing. You can do one thing but can't do another. Some can threat us validly, either as motivation or as plain threatening, but it isn't plausible if it's us doing it to us - we could hurt ourselves badly, after all. Say, I would've compelled myself to finally stand up for what I feel, but I won't because things would get in the way. I won't realize it because I have gotten used to it. And then it happens again - regret, resolve, render useless.

Life is too short, they say, so we've got to live it as if it's our last day on earth. Obviously thinking that you won't wake up the next day wouldn't really help, because you end up looking after yourself more than helping others, but sometimes we just have to take the risk without reminding ourselves to do it. The best things the world lives by right now happened by accident - say, the Powerpuff girls - but it wouldn't have been as such without anybody even trying to do something in the first place.

And again, we've got twelve months to fulfill whatever resolution we vowed to work with. I haven't got any for myself, because I find the process of actually making a list tedious. But if it comes, it's gotta happen. For me, that includes doing a screenplay for our thesis - which I should be touching right now - but things are, well, too busy, sort of. The next thing we know we have to finally stand up for whatever - and we've been too complacent to do anything, we don't even realize we have to.

Sooner than later, we will regret realize that what we want to have - what we truly deserve - has been taken by somebody else more enterprising.

And your responses...

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