1/16/2008
She'll stay unidentified

If you see this, I might as well apologize.

I see it coming! I see it coming! I see it coming!

As Thom Yorke rattled on my ear, in came this girl. I think she's my age, or maybe younger, as always is the case. I presume she's from around our part of the woods, too - either on my side, or the other side. And, as always is the case with everybody who gets a blog entry all their own, she has caught my eye.

Disregarding the probably-obvious idea of her being pretty - well, she isn't one that makes people drop dead in her tracks. More of my form of simplicity, if I should say so. She was wearing this loose pale green top and faded jeans, and seemed to struggle walking into the bus, because it was shaky, and it was a small, tight space. I wondered if she'd seat in the seat beside me - only separate by the aisle - but she sat elsewhere, seeing a seat up ahead of her. I decided to doze off, presuming it'll all be forgotten once I reach my destination.

The bus rattled on to Baclaran, and when people disembarked I changed seats. I always had a fondness for window seats - not to mention you've got a window to lean on to when you feel like shutting your eyes. That's when I remembered her existence - she's seated there, her eyes suggesting fatigue, her head against the seat in front of her. It's a very bad position for a bus passenger, especially if the ride proves very uncomfortable. It causes blood to rush in your head and makes you dizzy, and eventually you feel more uncomfortable.

She tried to take a nap, too. Her face, devoid of any expression, just decided to hide beneath her hair. As I realize I was starting to act stalker-ish - obvious proof lives up there - I decided to doze off again, too. I got my window seat, and there's nothing new to see outside the window, but trees and the sea.

The ride was very uncomfortable, though. I can't manage to keep constant shut-eye, getting distracted by the bus stopping at the toll gate. She managed, however, in that uncompromising position, with her hair sliding to cover more of her. I had no choice but to observe, as different vocalists continued to perform for me, and the rest of the world.

I've always shared my little thing for vulnerability. I don't know what's with it that makes people a bit more human, a bit more accessible, and yet I managed to sneak peeks in between dozing off and waking up. She remained blank, her stares in a cramped bus seat growing longer and longer. It seems that the only thing that will make her smile is seeing Tessa Prieto-Valdes get slimed while in costume.

And she did. Tessa Prieto-Valdes did get slimed in costume, on television, when everybody was having crazy fun winning money and losing it later. She didn't really laugh, nor exhibit a noticeable smile - or maybe my eyes were still trained with hers. You can only feel that one's planned attempts to ask if everything's well is becoming futile. I moved seats again, because the spot I chose was similarly cramped - and I feel more bad for myself. The aisle separates us.

I guess it happens when all you want is some assurance that things will be better. Not that it's gone worse for me, but there's always a part of us that says things should've been. And it also tells you that it's not anything that surrounds you can do, but something that you'll probably never encounter in your life. As the bus passed by traffic lights and pedestrian lanes, I slowly got used to her, her demeanor and her seeming loneliness. Did we share it? Maybe I'm just bored and sleepy, but it's always a thought to ponder.

I finally closed in on my stop. She kept on looking out the window, and to the aisle, probably anxious as to where she is going next, or whether it's her turn to shine. She owned the seat, and for an hour or so, she most probably owned me, too.

But I went down the bus first.

I boarded the jeepney and turned off the radio, instead playing the eight MP3s I had stored. If anything rang back to me, it's the thing I thought of earlier. Sooner than later, we'll forget.

I see it coming! I see it coming! I see it coming!

Oh, the wonders of being alone all your life.

And your responses...

did she open your door? lol shes pretty =) nice post.

Anonymous FINCH1/24/2008     

It's creepy of you to take then post her picture. Chill, man.

Anonymous Anonymous12/12/2012     

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