4/24/2008
What someone so self-consumed should believe

And what if they tell you that somebody else deserves it more than you?

That, after tried so hard, for so many times, you just couldn't do it like they do? That you couldn't satisfy their expectations? That you are just not made for it?

It's a funny feeling, really. At one point, they tell you that you're just right for the role. They'll say that you could make it, that you'll blow everybody away, and that you'll come out of it perfectly fine. After all is said and done, you actually lost all support; fifteen minutes later you're tagged as crazy. You can't possibly do it, they say.

You'll think about it for a bit, and start feeling things. Maybe you really aren't meant for it. You talked to a few people and there they were - the ultimate package. They have everything everybody was looking for, and then some. The stuff obviously you don't have, and they wish you have, and probably know that you'll never have, and then that's the basis for everything, isn't it?

You start growing anxious. Why even try when you wouldn't make it anyway? Why even bother going through all of these things just to get nothing at all? Some may say it's for the experience, for the chance of a lifetime, and then you'll just end up being tossed aside. You didn't make it. You didn't make it. You didn't deserve it; it's the heavens going against you. Some prayers have been answered and some have been tossed aside. And you're nowhere, all of a sudden. Let down, perhaps.

They say you should believe in yourself, that with all your talents and limitations, you can get through. You'll make past the obstacles and maybe get a trophy or two. You know what will get you there, and then you'll think that it has failed you. Consider this: you did believe in yourself. And too much, perhaps, that one person's compliment would mean the world to you, that all of a sudden you'll do very well, and then you didn't. In the end, somebody else deserves it more than you.

And if the end of the world did come, then perhaps you should've joined the ride earlier on. You should've known that all you believed in amounted to nothing. There's no use in believing, perhaps. But there are many things to believe in, and many things you can possibly think about, and all the while you thought of nothing but that one thing, and nothing more. A tongue twister, sure, but the fact that you thought of these words up mean there is something else you should believe in.

Everybody else thinks of the same thing, too. They'll all believe in you again, and perhaps until everything fails you again, you can trust in the ways of the world. Now, if you'll just get up and go, and kick some butt while you're at it...

And your responses...

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