5/29/2008
Bodies and tails

It's a no-brainer, really, but it's true. I don't think you believe me when I say this, but I really love you. It's the way you flip your hair, and the way you talk, and the way you strut your stuff... now don't tell me you don't believe all these things? Sure, your type's everywhere, but nothing really matches up to someone like you.

I got stuck in those lines. I was telling Sam that this entry would be something unprecedented, and indeed it is; at this point I'm really stuck for words. I've written stuff like this, but I've never really said those words in public.

I love you. Never have.

I was thinking along the lines of someone who's madly in love with somebody else. Perhaps it feels complicated because I never have felt that to an exaggerated degree. I know it's hard to say those three words for somebody like me, but perhaps not for this guy. He can say it when he thinks he has to. Somebody in touch with his feelings, I guess.

I sometimes wonder how being like that feels. I mean, you must know what you feel, and know what you have to do to get what you think you have to get. Perhaps send text messages, and stay the course even if the other end says no, or the other end turns to be somebody's father. Maybe show up at her door, and give her flowers, or chocolates, or ice cream, or maybe donuts - who doesn't like donuts? Well, not until she gives it away. They say that what you don't know won't hurt you, so I hope that holds.

What else should I do? I've done everything I think I should do. Don't I get your approval?

Now, now, that's not the way it goes. Of course there's the virtue of patience, and that always plays out. But I think I'll give this character a good side. Let's make him, well, patient. He'll try his best to be friendly, wait for his turn, just stand there, and hope for the best. That could be a cycle, too. It could just go on, and on, and on... but you're the one for me. Don't you get it?

How long should someone wait? I mean, eight years is a long time - that is just an example - but staying the course? That is something. Either you're really a stern believer in that thing you wish to attain, or you're just way too bored to do anything else. It must be weird, freaky at worst, to just be there and do nothing but gaze at the one you love. You have all these thoughts that you can't suddenly say out loud, because you think it isn't right. Why blurt out those three words all of a sudden, when you can just think of the right time?

But the right time will never come. So it's better if you just start moving. Say what you mean to say, and do what you mean to do. She'll get the idea in due time, and act accordingly. Now, if it only was that easy to put those thoughts into the style I was thinking of earlier, but by that time someone new comes along, and there he goes, doing the same things that he's so used to doing. Ad infinitum.

There goes the cycle. He finds someone and starts doing things to get things going. It will continue even if he finds out the most inconvenient of truths. She's married with a kid. She thinks you'll kill her puppies. She thinks you're gazing at her too long. She thinks you should get a life, and get going rather than spend the rest of your life following her around. If you just realize what I just realize, blah, blah, blah...

So, for the last time, I love you. I hope you... heeey, that wasn't for you!

And your responses...

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