8/04/2008
We're spiralling

All vehicles were slow on the approach to the half-finished Alabang viaduct. Funnily enough, the flow of traffic (if that's the technically correct term) loosened up halfway through.

And lately, I feel disconnected from the world. Things like this have become mundane, rather than an indicator of something supposedly significant. It used to be that I knew of so many things happening around me, at some points even taking over the role of what's-happening-know-it-all, but now I barely even sensed the death of two local directors, a foreign one, a storm moving up the country, and whatever it is the world is crazy about now.

This afternoon, in fact, while I was merely waiting for my shift to end - I finished six news articles today, and almost botched the publishing - I found out that Keane is giving away their latest single today. When the band released Is It Any Wonder, I knew they were aiming for a slightly guitar-like sound, to the point that they apparently considered looking for a guitarist. This time, I only faintly got wind of their glam rock tendencies, and they're already done with it?

I managed to grab the track anyway, but only now, and yes, it does sound like the 1980s. A very unlikely thing, indeed. But that's the least of my concerns. Actually, the things that have left me behind aren't really what's considered important. Say, I never even knew of the existence of the Twilight series until I read about it for work this morning - and didn't know its extent until both Jenn and Les started talking about Breaking Dawn. Who would ditch school for a book?

It's a change of priorities. It's that thing again, yes, and yet you don't really force yourself to change them. Tomorrow's my second pay day, and my spending patterns over the past weekend - and my ATM patterns, for that matter - have somehow reflected that. I suddenly sound smart, but really, I am just pretending to sound smart, or feeling the intelligence and maturity come in where it didn't use to exist. And it's gone beyond scrimping on lunch to be able to buy that Camerawalls CD I finally bought, but it's more of the offbeat, mundane, yet significant thoughts that cross your head. Do you say good morning? Do you consider changing shifts? Do you think it'll last? It's actually useless on second thought, but it's a step up.

Les and I were talking about the office crowd this afternoon. Or, to be more specific, our discussion veered there, when I somehow started a discussion about the beleaguered Embassy Superclub, despite me not ever considering going there. (Not even if Chex forces me to.) After my ill-fated attempts to do analysis of Manila nightlife, it dawns on me - we're a different crowd now. We may remain attached to the school for the time being, but soon, it is no more. We'll be thinking of something else.

It's pretty much like the letters that belatedly came to me, offering me a job when I was yet to take a job interview. You can't care less, but you actually do. Much like making the first move, or not doing it at all.

Today was a rainy Monday, when the folks at Taft Avenue prayed for a suspension of classes because of the flood. I, on the other hand, was thinking of making things right, because all of a sudden, I have a future to think of. As for the other things I used to care for, well, they aren't really out there - they're just in the background, as fragments of my personality. Who knows, I might sing along to that Keane song when I'm, say, frantically talking to Neobie about my publishing mistakes.

We're tumbling down. We're spiralling.

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