9/22/2008
Ignorance is bliss

"Huwag kang magpapadala," I told myself as I got out of the elevator and entered the office. I flicked for a ballpen, timed in, and got to my excuse for a desk. I turned on the PC, not forgetting to pull out the network cable before I log in, and not forgetting to plug it back in, else I won't be able to do my work for the entire day, which would be a very stupid thing. I put on my headphones, "turned on" the radio, and started doing what I usually do.

By that, I mean the usual things. I check my work mail and my personal mail, check what I shouldn't check, and start opening the articles for rewriting. I wondered about the Emmys, and how I used to watch it when I had the time - obviously, not at this time, since I'm at work, although ironically I was rewriting an article about some Emmy nominees. (Turns out The Colbert Report and The Daily Show, my before-I-go-to-bed routine, got one award each.) A little under an hour later, I started writing my profiles. Eighteen, as usual.

Today was slightly different, however. It's not that I was too engrossed on what I was listening to, since it's still repetitively bad for my attention span. It's not that I was decidedly peeled in front of the computer monitor, although that helped. I guess it came to the point when I got annoyed at the idea that I'm no longer alone again. I felt a sense of frustration when Glenn walked in, and I thought, here we go again.

Things went the usual way, yes. Before eleven he, Kris and Valerie would leave to buy some take-out, and perhaps return with some Starbucks sandwiches and softdrinks. In between, I'd spend my time going to the toilet - either to use it legitimately or just let off steam - and get somehow annoyed at Neobie's coughing, which has persisted for three weeks now. I never found a reason to ask if she's doing fine though; she's busy in the first place. Or that was Asia talking.

Today, though, I spent most of the day with Carmel. Online, at least. I'd usually be surprised at this stage, maybe pointing out the frequent chats we've been having, which wasn't the case during our college days. We were talking about tickets for the second DLSU-ADMU game - well, the lack of tickets, and the desperate effort for tickets. In between, I'd be writing my profiles, while I planned my lunch hour. It went to plan, thankfully: I'll go to Megamall, have something from KFC, and buy myself a black pen and a roll of Mentos. The pasta bowl doesn't satisfy.

And that's how it goes as the afternoon wears on. I'd be frustrated about my pace, or the fact that there isn't enough information to write about, or the fact that it's almost four in the afternoon and I'm still working on the last two profiles. Definitely I was distracted by the intermittent conversations with Carmel, either on YM or the synthetic ones on Facebook. Or maybe it's Asia talking about her experiences, and later realizing that she can't chat with people inside the computer rooms at DLSU. Or maybe it's the few text messages to Samantha, who has been going home after I leave the office, which meant less conversations as I wait for my shift to end.

But for the last nine hours, even if it's gone that way, I've been totally engrossed. In my twelve weeks - yes, add one more week - at work, it's never gone that way; now that it has, I can't point it to something. It's not the conversations, nor the profiles, nor the fact that I'm doing something that I've always wanted to do. ("Gusto mong lumayo?" Carmel guessed.) Perhaps, for the first time in a long time, I found amusement in what I'm doing. Maybe it's the three-day weekend that I imposed on myself. It's hard that way.

Then five o'clock strikes, and even if I keep my eyes peeled on the monitor, I can still sense who's leaving. Neobie walks to the left, Kris walks to the left, Valerie walks to the left, Glenn walks to the left. It breaks the sunshine I imposed upon myself, but that's the point, perhaps. They do say ignorance is bliss, and when you're confronted with the truth, you can react with shock, or you can react with a shrug. Ah, well...

And your responses...

But if ignorance is bliss, why are there still a lot of people who are unhappy?

And yes, I'm obviously condescending today, for, er... some reason.

Anonymous Dexter9/22/2008     

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