9/08/2008
Laws of attraction

"So, January pa lang, winish ko nang may magbigay sa akin ng flowers," Ariane said on the bus ride home. "Sabi ko sa sarili ko, sige nga, gawin nating small experiment, tignan natin kung magkatotoo."

I was playing with one of my earphones, and the other was plugged into my ear, playing something soulful.

"So, one day, nag-uusap kaming mga taga-GMG, tapos may nagtanong sakin kung gusto ko ba ng flowers for Valentine's day. Sabi ko, sige."

I was staring at the back on the seat in front of me, when I should be looking at Ariane, paying interest in what she's saying. Well, I actually am, to an extent.

"So February 14 na nga. Nung araw na yun, aalis kami for Cagayan, mag-sh-shoot for thesis. So, ang sabi ko, maliit ang window of opportunity para bigyan ako ng flowers! Tapos nag-text siya sa'kin. Sabi niya, parang, Ariane! Nasan ka? Kunin mo yung flowers mo dito!"

Perhaps I was sleepy, but I was still trying my best to listen. I took off the other earphone.

"At ayun na nga yung flowers. Well, isang tulip. Nag-wish ako for a rose, pero okey na 'yun, right?"

I'm not exactly a believer in the laws of attraction. Perhaps it's just me and my belief in working hard for something rather than just keeping positive about it all the time - and, in my case, the belief in planning something to death until you're sure it all goes well - which makes something like this really, really weird. How can I think about something so hard, to the point that it will just come and happen?

And besides, without me being aware of it, I've been doing it anyway. Daydreams do happen. Of me talking on the microphone, of me having coffee with Raisa, of me not making a fool of myself during thesis defense, that kind of stuff. Some of these things happened, and some of these things haven't, but I can definitely trace it to actions that I did previously. I was at the Max FM studios at an ungodly time, I was letting Jason talk, and I wasn't actually inviting Raisa to anything.

So it must be a little outrageous to hear someone talk about just thinking of things and letting it come. Oh, but Ariane wasn't finished with her story.

"Papunta na ako kanila Jackie. Pagbaba ko ng D. Jose, may narinig akong local na love song, na parang choir yung kumakanta. Pagbaba ko, aba, may live choir nga! So nag-stay ako."

I was turning to her, realizing that I should pay back for her enthusiasm.

"Sabi ko sa sarili ko, mahihintay naman nila ako, so tatapusin ko na hanggang last song nila. Tapos, biglang nag-disperse yung choir, tapos nagbigay silang lahat ng roses! May lumapit sa'kin, bumunot sa likod niya, ayun, rose."

But I saw that coming. Must be the predictability of the situation, or Ariane setting it up too much, something I can't give justice to with my approximated Niko-ish quotes. But she was getting giddy - and getting to her point.

"Try mo lang, kahit one week lang," she finally said. "Kapag inisip mo kasing alone ka, depressed ka, ang nangyayari, alone and depressed ka nga."

Three days later, I just decided to let it slip. Besides, I wasn't thinking about saying goodbye before the conundrum begins. It was just an ordinary day at the take-out counter, in front of the computer monitor, and throughout those many irrelevant side-swipes about sponges that don't slurp the ocean up.

I must be too preoccupied to be lonely, though.

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