11/05/2008
Go see

Right now you're seeing these words. Black text against a white background, or a white box against an orange background. You see the scroll bar to your right, the mouse pointer at the lower-right corner, clicking for you to continue reading.

Close your eyes, and you see nothing.

Open your eyes, and continue reading. There's stuff that you wouldn't care about in the following lines. Or stuff that you wouldn't understand. Or stuff that you entirely disagree with, which leads you to think about how to rebut these words.

Close your eyes, and you see nothing.

Well, not really.

You can open your eyes now. You see what you are supposed to see. These words that probably amaze you. The news blasting on the television somewhere in your vicinity, images you half-anticipated but never expected. A flashing button on the toolbar, or the flashing light on your mobile phone. The associations that come with it. You hate this person, you hate what happened, you hate where you are and you hate where you're going.

Close your eyes, and you see nothing.

And then you see the things you're not given a chance to see. The sale sign at the mall, half-price off on a designer dress, your wallet effortlessly stocked to fill that want. The buttons inside a dark, cold room, with a desk lamp giving the only source of luminance, before the monitor says the song is ending and the microphone beckons. The censored scene in the theatrical release, that eventually found its way online anyway, giving you temporary pleasure that you worked on before you finally got it.

Open your eyes, and you're thrown back to reality.

Close your eyes, and you see the things you hope to be. The things you want. The things you want, but can't have. The things you want, but can't have, and frustrate you into forgetting that you want them in the first place.

Open your eyes again, and you probably start wondering whether the things that you don't like are far better than the things you actually like, but don't have. But, well, it figures that you're happier with your eyes shut anyway. Everybody needs a retreat, after all. So you close your eyes.

The things you can't have even if you want to.

As you rush to open your eyes, you realize that retreat isn't always the best thing. You also realize that you're stuck in the middle of nowhere.

And your responses...

I wish I can close my eyes forever and live in my own fantasy. But I can't have that.


(been thinking too much, bare with me)

Anonymous koalashit11/07/2008     

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