1/23/2009
Three underscores

Day three. I am disoriented.

Actually, I am sleepy. No thanks to what I decided to listen to; I am perfectly aware that their midnight programming would be their sleepiest tracks yet, precisely because it's on at midnight. And besides, I never drifted to drowsiness during the first few hours or my shift, despite the (surprising yet unsurprising) lack of things to write about.

Someone took the Oscar nominations. I was tasked to do 24 profiles.

So I start typing them down. I've encountered some of them before. The others are new, a testament to my lack of television watching - an irony and a cause - and the geographical difference that all of us here face. Or, should I say, I face.

It's been different over the past week. Then again, it's like all the other weeks. What you've grown used to seeing will suddenly be taken away from you. Right now I'm no longer facing a window; instead, I'm seeing five computers, each with five people. Comment spammers, I suppose, but that's not what you call them. You're supposed to either look at the monitor, or at the half-heads that appear behind the cubicles.

I don't actually know what to feel. I choose not to be pessimistic right now, but I can't be optimistic either. I don't feel elated, nor infuriated.

I know that I should be annoyed after finding out that I haven't got loose change.

I know that I should be confused about why some people think I'm annoying other people.

I know that I should be angry upon seeing that sheepish grin at the start of the day.

I know that I should be insinuating at other people's intentions, or whether they're being sincere or not.

I know that I should be jumping up and down, while restrained to this desk, after taking a sneak peek at those eyes.

Instead, I decided to go down for lunch at two in the afternoon, buy myself a hotdog sandwich, and actually have ketchup with my fries.

So that's how it feels.

And your responses...

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