2/28/2009
Minus one

And then there are the questions that seem implausible when asked. Did someone hurt you before? Did someone break your heart? Did someone shatter all your expectations? Valid questions, all three of them, but the problem lies with you. You're not supposed to ask those questions.

So you look back to the past. Perhaps, try to figure things out. They all say there's no reason to get hurt, and perhaps they're right. It's just you. Your expectations are there for a reason. They were all betrayed, eventually, and you're left with just another opportunity to start again. Either you decide to reach out, or, as you just did, substitute everything around you for what you think should be there.

Of course, you can flip the argument around and say that they led you to have these expectations. It was they who made you feel like it's home, all before bringing out the bulldozer and cracking the walls open.

Perhaps I didn't understand that. Back then. Now, maybe, I do.

Why do we put so much faith in people?

Better yet, why the same people who don't put any amount of faith in us? The people that, for all we know, can live without you. There is conversation, and then there's that red button that makes it effortless to let go. Better yet, lose grip. Ah, what gives, it doesn't mean anything anyway. And as you start falling off the tracks, the flashbacks begin.

So much for the investment.

So, it's either you decide to start over again, or you substitute everything around you and lock yourself in. Maybe trust the chocolate wrappers or the diplomats. Anyone but me. Rest assured I'll stop asking those implausible questions. Rest assured I won't do the things you've done. Well, at least not yet.

My heart still has a long way to go before it becomes irreparable.

And your responses...

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