10/11/2009
I'm just being pointless like you want me to

I've been inviting a few people to things, but it always never pushes through. Something always gets in the way. "I've got plans that day," went one time. "I'm pretty busy," went another time. "I don't eat burgers," went another time.

There was this one time when I was invited to something. "It's one of the few times being madaldal and opinionated is a good thing," it went. A focus group discussion. I promptly, and conveniently, forgot about it.

Everybody else around me seems to be up to something. I'd be an unintended, and possibly unwelcome, witness to conversations when other people make plans, the very same plans that always get in the way. It could go, "where you tonight, dude?" and it could go, "I'm free, dude, you want to go to Fort?" and it will end, "sige, dude, walang indyanan, ha?"

Well, I do get invites, too, but only for stupid Facebook applications or stupid Facebook causes or stupid Facebook fan pages. I can imagine it going, "please be a fan of my something because you know me," and I always wonder why people expect other people to support them by sheer association. When it's something I'm up to, nobody joins up. When I write something, nobody answers, but nobody wants me to shove a promotion down their throats, while it all goes, "I wrote a new entry, post a comment if you love me!" Nobody wants me to speak up my mind, and it all goes, "huwag ka ngang mag-flood!"

Or, people always come to their aid when they're down and angry at the world. When it's me who's frustrated, it always goes, "solid downer ka naman."

Everybody's always up to something. "I'm thinking of joining a workshop" is a possibility. "I'm going to Megatent to help out" is another. "I'm going to a photo shoot." "I'm going to study abroad." "I'm having a night out with friends after work." "I need some work-life balance." "I'm saving up to go to Hong Kong." "I'm so freaking happy!"

It always goes, "go stop moping and do something!" when it comes to me, but nobody understands that there's nothing left to do at the moment. When I get to do something - make a profit in a video game - it'd always go, "get out and get a fucking life!"

This double standard is frustrating. Everybody wants everybody to be their best, but everybody wants me to be pointless, perhaps so they can be their best. There's nothing left to do.

And your responses...

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