3/16/2014
Twenty-five

It just occurred to me that, in the past six months - or, let's be generous, a year - at least four of my friends have gotten married.

Now, this is not a complaint about me not being invited to weddings. (Debuts and weddings are two different things.) For one, I would probably be very awkward, and this, despite the fact that I am now in a relationship myself. Also, these friends are distant ones. By "distant" I meant friends from elementary school, or friends from college that I never really was in the same circles with. (By "distant" I meant everybody.) Then again, apparently, we were not too distant at one point in our lives, judging from the fact that I see them on Facebook - and they see me on Facebook, or not, because I am annoying - and I see them post photos of engagement rings and wedding preparations. But, for some reason, none of the wedding itself.

And then it occurs to me. I am 25. I have lived on this earth for two and a half decades. I have graduated from college. I have been working for a good six years now. I'm at the point when I should have saved enough money to buy myself a house and think of being on a household of my own. And here I am, still living with my parents, but not being a mooch; this is all me being conservative when it comes to taking risks.

Now, this is not a complaint about why my peers are relatively independent compared to me. I would have made that thought years ago, when a friend (forgot who) and I discussed a common friend (forgot who) whose then boyfriend decided to move to his own place because... well, I forgot why. Now, I could choose to act all gung ho and make a declaration of independence, but I don't see the point. Or, I don't feel like it. Or, I don't know. I don't want to explain it. I don't think I can explain it. Saying "we live in the Philippines, where families are closer together" sounds like a cop-out.

But yes, I am 25, and I am at that point in my life when I should be thinking ahead - way ahead. All those things about career plans, about where your dream house is, about whether you can maintain using a car daily - I tried this for a couple of weeks, when my parents were away to Europe, and I've never felt poorer - you know, that sort of thing. Our parents won't live forever. What we do now won't last. We need to think contingency plans. We need to cut strings and not drag as many people down. We need to make huge leaps, and nothing screams "huge leap" than tying the knot.

Not that I am rushing, because, well, I've only been with Rainy for fifteen months, and if these things were linear, then we have not done most of the items on the unwritten Things That Dating Couples Do list.

I mean, yes, I am babbling. Filling space. And I'm thinking that, well, isn't our generation supposed to be averse to getting married, because of all that crap about self-actualization, about fulfilling our potentials as a person before becoming just half of a new personal unit? Or is this me denying the fact that some people are just more mature than I am, and will always be more mature than I am, and I will always feel small compared to them? But then again, that's humanity for you - they get married weeks after you hear that they got engaged, and you don't get to see photos of the wedding ceremony. But then again, it's expensive. Also, congratulations.

And your responses...

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