3/25/2016
National Crucifixion Day

Did you know that today is National Crucifixion Day?

Every Good Friday, the day when Jesus Christ gave up His life on the cross for all of mankind, we mark National Crucifixion Day. This is when we let go of all that is bad in our lives - all that stresses us, all that angers us, all that disappoints us, all that irritates us - by crucifying them on a metaphorical cross. At the end of the day, we come out cleansed, absolved and refreshed, with a lighter load, ready to face the days ahead.

So, to mark this special day, who would you like to crucify, and why?

Ronald, 35, Antipolo: "I want to hunt down that man who stole my phone when I went home on the bus a couple of weeks back. We all work hard - what makes him so special? I want to hunt that son of a bitch down, and then I want to crucify him on the cross. I bet he stole from others too. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the whole world a favor by removing one piece of shit from our streets!"

Shay, 28, Pasig: "I was doing very well at my old job. Got along with all my colleagues. Submitted everything on time. Everybody was impressed with my output. I was actually providing results for the company I worked for - higher sales, higher revenues, you know, the usual. But this boss of mine just fired me. Didn't say why. He just fired me. He did not fire anybody else, that asshole - he just fired me! My friends say I should pursue a legal case, but I'm too hurt to face all that. Given the chance, though, I would like to crucify my former boss. I want him to suffer. I want him to suffer a lot."

Nicole, 26, Mandaluyong: "Jake, my ex. He cheated on me! With a younger girl! Who's fucking uglier than anybody else I've known! What an idiot."

Arvie, 39, Manila: "I was bullied in high school. This guy ruined my life. I have lost all my self-confidence since he started teasing me. I could never get good grades because all I heard was him calling me gay. I could never trust anyone, not at school, not at work. I always got fired because they thought I was shady or something. They say, 'why don't you change?' I say, it's not my fault. It's Jacob's fault. Jacob must die. I wish I could kill Jacob."

Herbert, 42, Makati: "Binay. That corrupt son of a bitch does not deserve to be president... but he deserves to die."

Eric, 46, Makati: "Our current president is incompetent, irrational and delusional. Under his watch, the country has become worse off. The rich get richer, while the poor get poorer! His 'daang matuwid' is a lie. He is more corrupt than his predecessor. He always protects his allies and does not prosecute them when proven to be rotten. He is rotten. Noynoy Aquino is rotten. I would love to crucify him myself, on behalf of a Filipino people thirsty for real, genuine, actual change."

Michael, 22, Angeles: "Text spammers. Every single day I get a text selling me a condo. I wish they would stop."

Jake, 27, Bacoor: "I met this girl online. We became friends. Chatted a lot. Met a couple of times, had coffee. I enjoyed her company. But then she started acting like we were, you know, together. Us? Together? I told her I had a girlfriend! Amy and I begun dating a little after we started chatting online. I'm sure I'll be devoted to her. But Nicole - what the hell, she thinks I'm her boyfriend and I'm cheating on her? That delusional bitch. I could not get away from her! Continues to stalk me, pretends we've just had sex or something. I don't usually get angry, but I am sooo angry at that bitch."

Pam, 23, Quezon City: "There's this guy at work who always scores concert tickets, and always says we're missing out if we don't go to those concerts, and always claims we owe it to him if we get to watch those concerts. But I'd rather stay at home!"

Dani, 24, Pasay: "When Duterte becomes president, National Crucifixion Day will happen! All criminals will be punished! If you are a law-abiding, God-fearing Filipino, you have nothing to be afraid of!"

Francine, 17, Cainta: "Men. I want to crucify men. All they've done is oppress women! Throughout history! I am a feminist and proud to be one!"

Colby, 27, Malabon: "Rich kids. I want to crucify rich kids. Each and every one of them. They think they're so cool, posting about how fun their lives are on Instagram. They think they have much better taste than I do just because they get to fly out every weekend. Hey, you fuckers. You only have rich parents. You did not have to go through what I have done. You have nothing else to prove! You think you're much better than me?"

Mario, 29, Parañaque: "Posers. You know, they try to fit in to your group but really, they will never fit in because they're nothing like us."

Rochelle, 24, Makati: "Donald Trump. He is a racist bigot who should not be leader of anything."

Tina, 30, Las Piñas: "You know that doctor who went viral lately? She must die."

Marielle, 19, Calamba: "Whoever thought of National Crucifixion Day should be crucified. The Bible says thou shalt not kill!"

Teresa, 23, Pasig: "I don't know this guy, but... Niko Batallones? You know him? The blogger? I wish I could crucify him. I think it'd be easy. He's a wuss who hides behind a keyboard. All he does is complain about his life, about how he has no friends, about how he could never fit in... hey, Niko, do your fucking job! Don't expect others to do everything for you! God. I want to waterboard him slowly. And then I want to crucify him. And then I'll leave him alone. He will die alone, and it will be the most perfect thing ever."

And your responses...

Post a Comment