So long, and thanks for all the fish

I finally got that line out of my system. (If you've already watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, well, I applaud you for understanding it. I think no one will appreciate it unless they know how British comedy acts like.)

Today was pretty weird. I, for one, is blogging in Netopia again because the Cybernook virtually shut down. I was in the middle of posting a more decent entry but they just won't let me post it, and before I know it everybody else were having the same problem (except for Sara and Lynne, who were typing something in the PCs and not surfing as usually thought).

Before that, I was feeling too hyperactive. I was literally rubbing elbows with people. (Don't get me? Never mind.) I was, again, feeling too comfortable with other people (even if they don't even care about me) and then I realized they are all frowning (or so I think) because I'm getting too noisy.

I'm actually risking undoing the effects of the many people making me feel good because I actually feel they don't like me the way I thought they like me. Do they even like me?

I don't know. Again I'll mention that I'm searching for a common barkada like all of you in the block. Since high school I've been looking for one - and up to now I still don't have any. So much for a sense of belonging.

But I'm not expecting you to just come and include me in your little group. (Besides, I'm so pessimistic to think about who actually cares.) This may be an irony (obviously because I mean the opposite of what I'm going to say) but you can just leave me here and I'll survive.

I'm again breaking down in tears (figuratively).

Anyway, I finally bought that Missy Higgins CD, which leaves me with around four hundred bucks (actually less) to spend on the ticket to that thing we have to go to on Saturday night. When I get there, I'll be literally alone. It's another new environment, and the placebos will stick together, and then there's isolated me.

All I actually wanted is a friend who I can be with all the time. That, and I'll be happy.

So, again, what do you think am I trying to say here? I actually want you guys to reply, like that on my previous post.

And your responses...

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