7/20/2005
Watermelons in metamorphosis

Finally, a short Wednesday - but not after a (wishfully short) meeting with TeamComm regarding the ABS-CBN studio tour. I almost wore a yellow shirt (although I wish to remain politically neutral) until I realized it was in the wash.

So I'm making a statement by wearing a black one. You know, the one that says denim rebel. Go figure.

I actually remembered what Regine told me during my second depression wave (when everybody thought I would actually commit suicide). I'm like a rebel, she said; I figuratively refused to "be one of them". So I wondered. Is this actually my personality?

It always takes me a long time to realize things - think of all the stuff I went through before I realize nothing was actually lost two weeks ago. (Go figure. As usual.) I, however, am personally amazed that, nine weeks into the term, I have somehow got up the ladder and, so to speak, rose to prominence.

Let's face it. I really wanted to be one of those popular guys in school. Maybe it's because I never felt like it since elementary - and, trust me, high school was such as downer it totally changed my perspective in life. Right now, however, I'm amazed to see that it was basically effortless to get there (for me, at least), and yet I feel like I'm underappreciated.

And now, I feel a little better each day (despite the few mood swings).

Sometimes I think I exaggerated my emotions just to get attention. I'm not actually that in need of psychological help. Maybe a little bit of, err, comforting.

This morning it's gonna be a little frantic for the block. We'll be awash today with yellow (since the block is, well, as yellow as Coldplay). When they go to the Santugon miting de avance, however, I'll be somewhere else doing something more important. This time, however, I know I did the right thing - and, I can always pass by.

Although I'm not wearing yellow, which would make me a little bit more distinct from the others.

It sometimes feels a little nice to go head on against the flow, but, as some put it, the current can be too strong to handle.

Regine was right. I am a rebel.

And your responses...

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