2/28/2006
Lights should as well guide me home

This is ridiculously fun, Ale. Really.

Take your name, put it in quotes and add the word needs in the end, and give yourself a Google search. And this is what came up.

"Niko needs to make sure that the drummer can see the bass player and they can see the guitar player and see the singer." Well, duh, but I work as a radio presenter. But that works as well, if I would be someone like Steve Lamacq.

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2/27/2006
Everything's an excuse for something

No way there aren't any classes today. I woke up at six in the morning - technically an hour late - by myself, and upon realizing that I thought something was wrong. Just the night before I confirmed my siblings are getting grounded at home again. And then, this - we haven't got classes. The very thing me and my uncle were fantasizing about last night, like it was some elusive butterfly - it has come to rest on our palms. Again. So, like last Friday, I've got no midterms to worry about, no novel reading, no sightings, no philosophical inquiries, and no lunch buddies to eat with. Well, I've got my siblings, but it's still different, admittedly.

So, like before, nothing much happened. Only a standoff between members of the Marines happened throughout the night, which caused another wave of class cancellations (and possibly a lot more paranoia) and a lot more idle time. To think I sacrificed listening to The Selector last night just to get enough sleep, only to realize I didn't really need it then.

So, aside from the usual vacation antics, there's been nothing much. I guess this makes catching up with old blockmates much more fun. Ariane is online and I'm chatting with her yet again, as well as Jason, who posted something on his blog after months. Surely me and Jenn are celebrating?

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2/26/2006
Tickled pink over politics and cream

It's the third day of my unintendedly long vacation. After reading up on those EDSA 1 stories, getting a sense of being intimidated at the emptiness of Greenbelt 3's first floor corridor, and getting surprised at the reactions I've received on my last entry, it's time again to get reused to going to school six times a week - but at least it's another soft ease-in, since we haven't got CWTS tutorials next week as well, which means I'll be left with more thoughts than usual.

I was trying to look for a new splash photo last night (and, admittedly, early this morning) and, as much as I hate to say it, I was having a hard time. I had this concept I was willing to pull off on my blockmates if Saturday's classes pushed through, but now I'm left with only three days in February and I decided to rush another photo from previous CWTS sessions. I was choosing between many photos, and then I came across another one of those intended photos (as opposed to candid photos), but then, again, I don't want anybody staring at me, like what we're currently in right now.

I told myself time and again, once the government begins to touch the media, it gains a skeptic - and it has. Given that past lessons and experiences have taught me that the Daily Tribune and Abante are pro-opposition, but that doesn't really give a government license to take their operations over, right? It was a surprise that police would begin their work just as (I think) the government is promising due process. But, aside from the sometimes unnecessary references to declaration 1081 back in 1972 (wait, doesn't 1081 sound like 1017?), especially when it came to the "questioning" (or "arrest") of certain opposition personalities, there has somehow been a little more calm during the weekend as opposed to Friday. We went to Greenbelt yesterday without fearing that another rally would happen.

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2/24/2006
Stories from a close coup d'etat call

The next post is based on, well, almost six hours watching the news, writing notes on pad paper about my reactions, my thoughts and my events as well as theirs. Yes, I made something out of a vacation. So, here it goes...

...up at five, ready by six, disabled by seven. All because of a coup d'etat attempt.

By seven in the morning, my siblings were grounded at home after the announcement that their classes were suspended. I was already in the car with my dad when the announcement came through the radio: all college classes are suspended. So, there it went - what I initially thought would be one of my longest days in my college life, with a Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah showing, plus swimming class - all changing only because of a couple of "misguided" military officials and their men attempting to topple our government and replace it with, quite possibly, a military junta.

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2/23/2006
"No time for kidding anymore... this is work"

Let's just say nothing much happened today, aside from a yogurt spill inside my bag, me getting fifteen points off a practical test due to me not following my hunches, and rushing to get a VCD player for Psychology class. And then, there's Miss Calleja asking me about what I felt about my classmates teasing me. I was extraordinarily hyperactive today, I admit, but somehow it didn't matter. Was I too happy? I guess so.

All that, after I lost sleep over studying for that midterm examination, as well as getting home late due to my attendance of Litekal. I should try to fix my schedule.

I confirmed that we won't have CWTS class on Saturday, due to the special non-working holiday President Arroyo announced yesterday. That means, we won't have any tutorials for two weeks. Isn't that nice? I couldn't confirm, however, if all classes (within the CLA, probably) beyond noon would be cancelled. Supposedly, today's our college day, and in the past there would be no classes. And then this. I would personally bring my swimming attire, still, just to be sure - but if that's true, then wouldn't it be a bit boring, the next eight hours, waiting for Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah to begin? The showing's at 20.00 and apparently ends three hours later, according to Sudoy. So, count tomorrow as my longest day yet.

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2/22/2006
Meaningless conversations

Well, who couldn't help being philosophical, when you're fed with different philosophies thrice a week?

It was Kizia who told me one of those words of advice that I've always initially found overused and ineffective: be yourself. That was eight months ago, at a time when always-confused me was trying to find a place in the crowded college world. Fast forward eight months later, and I somehow ended up following that piece of advice and, well, found my place - and my own share of whatevers and whatnots. I guess, though, that's for another entry.

Then, Martin Buber comes in and changes all that - well, not everything, but at least there are a few aspects that suddenly need some more clarification. If not for us being really ourselves can we have an authentic relationship with other people. I remember me getting tangled up in such a controversy back then, and then things still changed, and some people thought I was really doing those two words all along. But sometimes I get surprised with me doing things I thought was uncharacteristically me, and then, the usual drag-down would lead to me thinking I faked everyone again.

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2/21/2006
Fresh artificial flowers, anyone?

No time's ever too late. For once, please don't let your assumptions get ahead.

Again, I face the I haven't got anything to post today situation. Look, I guess there's been nothing new to post that I guess wouldn't offend anybody, but that's another point that I shouldn't worry much about. Last night I was thinking about stuff (again) since I had the chance to really stay up late at night, and then I was thinking about the apparent death threats I was getting. Little did I know I was already starting a controversy on my own. Part of me is shrugging it off as a joke, but somehow I got amazed, if not entertained. But maybe it isn't any laughing matter.

I was chatting with Jino last night, through a really finicky dial-up connection, and I somehow got the cue that Huey has been involved in the pitch as well. Oh why, oh why, oh why me?

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2/20/2006
Another needlessly exhaustive story

It's not that it's the first time for everybody to step into the UP Diliman campus, but one couldn't help at the hugeness of the area. The number of trees, for instance - it seems we badly need trees in our own campus. As we wait to enter an extremely crowded UP Theater, from left: Huey, Jessica and Kim.

So there we were, watching the three plays we were asked to watch for our respective classes - in my case, Literature 1 class; for the others, their Filipino 1 class; and for Ale, well, she decided to join in. After CWTS tutorials (and leaving fifteen minutes late again, this time, because of Ariane) in the middle of slight drizzles, we immediately took off for deeper inside Quezon City. First stop, of course, is lunch, and me and Jessica - almost initiates - were dragged into the BonoSoc tradition that is, Saturday lunch at Kalye Juan (along Tomas Morato). Oh, right - the food was great, and despite spending almost two grand on three orders of laing, two orders of crispy pata and two orders of deep-fried pig's ears - and despite the headaches among a few - it was still (around) an hour of fun, food and, for some, cigarettes. I remember Malia so suddenly.

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2/17/2006
Dead neurons

I'm listening to Dick Gordon on the radio right now. Ooooh, probably the only time we do get on special mention on BBC Radio Five Live is when we suffer some kind of disaster - in this case, the huge mudslide somewhere in Leyte - but still I never would have suspected one of our senators talking on British radio. I thought he was a correspondent - I simply heard Nicky Campbell call him "Richard".

But if you take a listen on medium wave radio in Manila (err, AM radio), you hear the presenters call them "mister Senator" or something to that effect. Well, I'm not saying that our politicians don't deserve any respect, but it's just a point worth mentioning.

Again, I find myself without much to say. Things have been frantic the past few days, not just from here, but everywhere else. Even Katia, who's promised me a (supposedly long) email on the past few days, is down with final examinations, theses (or maybe just one), and working at a call center. We've chatted a few times already, and it seems she's kept on mentioning her "losing brain cells" (she didn't say it that way, but I guess that's what she said), and somehow I find myself in her shoes. I suddenly don't want to wake up anymore.

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2/16/2006
Identity versus identity conflict

So it's another time for getting overly dramatic over things. Unexpectedly, the psychological side of Valentine's day, a couple of days after it actually took place. Just when we decided to, well, try to move on a bit from the torture that was the collection of huge bouquets, balloons that say "I love you" and the bitter singles, here we go again, struck by inspiration. But I guess inspiration has become my little excuse for writing dramatic stuff.

The three components of love, according to Robert Sternberg, are intimacy, passion and commitment. The first goes to those who feel really close and connected with others (to the point that there's even such a thing as - how should I call it? - unreal intimacy). The second is, simply said, the person wanting to be with that other person - in fact, the term used, by Miss Calleja at least, is intense longing. The last one states the need of one to be with the other for a long time. So, it means, the first two means romance, and the second one solo means, err, lust?

But why this, now? I guess after talking about stuff I never thought I would've talked about - name-dropping sometimes isn't beneficial for me, probably - I realize I'm acting pretty weird in recent days. Either my mind's gone the way of scrambled eggs, or I'm just getting too disturbed for pretty much the same things.

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2/15/2006
Just because it's short and I'm stuck

Nothing to blog, nothing to blog. It's been the same old, same old.

Well, maybe there's the Philosophy 2 midterm exam. Then there's the Sociology surveys. Then there's Eena almost not showing up, leaving me rattling in the case I get called, and then she comes, we fix stuff and we aren't called. Then, obviously, there's lunch, and Sara sharing with my fries, then there's Marc Abaya again, and then there's Ale wanting a photo.

And then, there's me not wanting to wake up, and me not wanting to study for the exam (although I really have to), and me coming in this place with a lot of sweat.

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2/14/2006
Single awareness whatever

Whew. Glad that was over - what some DLSU students called the biggest holiday in the university calendar. Freaking Valentine's day.

I guess all the hype I had about it - or the lack of it - wore off by last night. I was talking to Eena through the phone - we are partners in our Literature 1 recitation tomorrow, on Nick Joaquin's Summer Solstice - and we ended up chatting about Valentine's plans and excessive cross-references with Dead Stars plots and characters. So there I was, hyping up a made-up possibility of me "asking her out" (of course, I made it all up) and then one of her lines striked me, not because I felt bad for myself, but because it proved something.

"...that's nice, but this Julia has found her Alfredo."

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2/13/2006
If anybody knew how much it mattered

"Akala mo wala na tas pag bumalik, bam."

Welcome to what I would have loved to call recovery mode. Apparently, it wouldn't be quickly the case. Two nights ago I was quiet in front of the computer, quietly reminiscing about stuff and, of course, she would occasionally cross my thoughts. Why wouldn't I - Kizia wasn't there that morning for CWTS class. I went through the day without worrying or otherwise. I thought I got over her. Apparently, not quite.

After what happened months before, I forgot how it felt to feel really let down by something you're even uncertain about. Have I been too comfortable? Admittedly I'm still confused about what to say right now, but I guess reasons have compelled me to start typing impulsively.

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2/11/2006
Molecular surprises

The sea I keep on looking at whenever I go to school, especially on those mornings when all that you want is retire and sleep? I was in the middle of it last night.

Just after finally getting to swim across one end of the pool to another without stopping (but only because it's the short side, it's a game, and we're at the shallower side of the pool), our Filipino 1 group - well, six of us, because Ale wasn't there - went to shoot the final part of the video. The day before, Jason and I found someone who's willing to have us rent a boat and shoot in it for five hundred bucks. We agreed to meet at five; we arrived a day later a half-hour late, because AK was shuttling around a million requests for instrumental loving at the Chamber Ensemble. Even Jay, the guy who's driving the boat, thought we weren't serious about the offer. (He later told me he was actually drunk when we gave him our terms.)

So, after struggling with commutes, costumes and getting down to the boat, it's time to ride off to the sea. It was unusual at the start: the water was splashing on us, obviously, and with three people not used to being surrounded with water down to unknown depths (me included), it seemed like someone was destined to throw up. Jay and his dad were even arguing over what to do; it seems the older boatman was also drunk (but not Jay that time) and wanted to do things as well. (As he said it, "para may kahati ako.") We even ended up chasing around a fishing boat before we could start shooting.

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2/09/2006
Posting point blank

The usual things Jill gets: a photo with somebody from a band. In this case, it's JP from Kala (if I got it right).

So, again, what happened today?

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2/08/2006
Double the rocking, but none of the buzzing

Kudos to the Fast 2005 Batch Assembly for putting together a great show.

Kudos to the bands for rocking our afternoons despite the rain. (Well, they enjoyed the rain even if we didn't.)

Most importantly, kudos to us for endlessly waving, bugging, and asking autographs at the performers. But that's what we're supposed to do anyway.

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2/07/2006
She's clueless about everything

I'm not supposed to blog today. I know that. However, Psychology class wasn't pushing through today, and even Miss Calleja forgot to mention that last Thursday. So, premature, unintended blogging. But I'd rather release my ideas now than keep them all in my head.

Before we ended Biology class, AK came in our classroom. Now, she isn't my classmate in that class, but she still came in - with five other people, and a violin. The Chamber Ensemble has decided to attack.

Apparently it was decidated to Mina (who is also my classmate in Psychology and PE class), and it seemed that someone liked her to the extent of having this done. However, isn't it too early? One week before Valentine's and then she got a little orchestral piece of Himala - the same version performed during LPEP - performed to the awe of those in the classroom. But before that AK whipped out her phone and announced the dedication.

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2/06/2006
This is what we could do

Saturday was a normal day. I was rushing people in and out of jeepneys, following up those who left for breakfast and calling up those who might come in late. And, yes, we left at twenty-five past eight. But there was something lurking behind us.

The day before - and, as you may well all know - the (former, technically) assistant manager of the McDonald's branch beside DLSU shot dead his new manager, just as she was being installed into the position, and then would later shoot himself outside the establishment. No wonder my commute that day was tediously long in that exact spot. That Saturday morning I was pretty clueless - all I got was that there were gunshots, and Ian's friend had a photo of the lifeless body of the assistant manager, taken from a mobile. And some of us were sad. Point was, this was what someone could do because of money.

I only got to read the newspapers Saturday night, and the only one I did see was two tabloids headlining the incident. One had a photo of that guy on the front page - all bloodied, with SOCO officials looking around making sense of it all. Luckily it was in black and white. But its sister tabloid published the same photo - in full, unnecessary color. Only them did I understand the casualness of the murder - it just had to happen. Impulse, even.

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2/05/2006
Inches to the Oblation run

Every passion starts with a little belief.

I personally hate movies that go aww, shucks in the end. It's been overused, overexhausted, and overthought. It seems that every movie nowadays - especially now that it's Valentine's day - has the same format and the same stereotypes: boy sees hard-to-reach girl (or vice versa), they fall in lovw, they fall out of love, then something life-changing happens. Has anyone noticed it's weirdly been like that always?

Jason and I had this little talk on movies - something probably like what he and Clarence called their intellectual dates. I never saw myself talking to someone about film, especially with me barely watching them. But, as with everything else, little do you know that there's always something on you about it. You always have a say on anything - you're just not aware. So we ended up talking about mainstream cliches and the reason why (admittedly) indie movies just don't take off. It seems the term experimental still causes images of thinking and, well, some more thinking.

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2/03/2006
Definitely lacking inspiration

I'm not gonna talk much about today, though. Maybe my chances are becoming too distant again.

Finally, I can upload photos from Saturday on the blog. I thought Photobucket was acting up last night, and I'm still looking for an alternative to having Blogger host my photos - it's ruining the entire photo, though, so never mind, just find me a server...

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2/02/2006
All the odd aspects in perspective

If not the weirdest thing, then probably nothing would attract my interest much. Well, it all seemed perfunctory today, despite the few odd details, if there were any.

Today was Malia's birthday, and so came the usual big card from the BonoSoc with the usual signatures. The only odd thing out of it, though, was that she didn't want cake (apparently, according to Lau), so when they came into the room, they had the card and a pack of hotcakes. A lighter worked as the candle, and Malia was all smiles, if not for the novelty of the alternatives presented. Oh, and she had that kiss mark on the cheek from Steph. Just a little detail you shouldn't take negatively, I guess.

Before that, nothing much really happened in both of my Biology classes. In lab class we watched a first aid video that didn't really help much (all they probably did was ask us to call 911 and refer to a first aid manual that we couldn't possibly acquire) and get some more photocopies. In lecture class, we were dismissed a half-hour earlier since the video tape wouldn't work. Now, if you remember that use cleaning casette message before, well, that was it.

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2/01/2006
Love's too early in the morning

Like anyone actually noticed that I changed splash photos once again, but this time it's more thought out unlike before. I've told Jino, but definitely not Ale (not yet, but what can I do? It's already up), last night. I wonder how the reaction would be.

But I almost placed up there one of Jaja's photos, but I figured for myself I wouldn't want anybody (now or ever) staring at me as I visit my blog.

Speaking of which, I did see her with Huey today, which was surprising since I thought I wouldn't see them at around nine in the morning. Turns out they haven't got PE class (it's been cancelled for the day), and they, along with almost everybody else from the BonoSoc, had an incredibly long break to work with. Then Ale would toodle off with Jino, apparently to meet his parents. (Well, Huey mentioned that to me, and I've heard that from her twice within the weekend. Obviously I've been hearing stuff, but this is becoming as awkward as my slave role before Jason made me king.)

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