This might sound crazy, but butterflies will never be fed to anybody, despite its similarities with the vanilla pod when you take off the wings. Well, that sounds already too harsh-horror-sadist whatever to me already, but haven't you thought that butterflies, when swallowed, get to fly around the stomach and dodge every attempt to douse it with gastric acid - until, well, the stomach gets full of it to the point that the butterfly either gets stuck in the esophagus or gets digested?
Clarence boinked the term "feeling butterflies" one morning, in the middle of yet another conversation about layouts, emotions and a million hugs exchanged. That's been pretty much my consolation after weeks of needlessly simple contemplation, because I don't actually need it. But suffice it to say that - yes, again - I've fallen into bits of depression in the middle of a thousand songs and not-quite-effective rotation.
I'll be very honest about it. I thought everything was over the moment I texted Kizia that fateful Monday night, got blank stares from invisible eyes and ended up doing the normal escaping. Fine, then. I even said it was almost over, right? I'll be even more hoenst about it. The next weeks were pretty quiet. Nothing's been bothering me - I'm even getting bored - and that's been pretty much it. Fine, she crops up whenever me and Clarence talk - it's quite inevitable - and then, that's it. Back to talking about her issues, and me acting as some sort of love doctor again.
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4/30/2006
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4/27/2006
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Looking back, I couldn't believe our tendency to laugh at the things we've been telling each other for ages. Think about this. Do you remember this?
"At least ikaw nababasa niya ata yung saloobin mo."
"Ata. At least sa'yo, parang manhid... di lang alam kung ano gagawin [at] paano... ako, iniiwasan na. Parang binalewala naman lahat..."
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"At least ikaw nababasa niya ata yung saloobin mo."
"Ata. At least sa'yo, parang manhid... di lang alam kung ano gagawin [at] paano... ako, iniiwasan na. Parang binalewala naman lahat..."
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4/23/2006
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Yesterday I was texting Clarence for around three hours when I received another text message, this time from someone I didn't know (or didn't remember, since I lost pretty much all of my phonebook entries when I lost my mobile). When I read what it said I pretty much realized the thing I was looking out for that night.
Well, yes, I was somehow surprised, because I forgot about it after reading the newspapers.
So I texted Ale, and I got what netiquette experts call as an equivalent to shouting - that is, texting back in really huge letters. She was in disbelief. Of course, I would expect that reaction from her, after I told her that DLSU was suspended from the UAAP for one season. When I finally confirmed it, then came the (expected) cuss words and the obligatory noooooooo! line.
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Well, yes, I was somehow surprised, because I forgot about it after reading the newspapers.
So I texted Ale, and I got what netiquette experts call as an equivalent to shouting - that is, texting back in really huge letters. She was in disbelief. Of course, I would expect that reaction from her, after I told her that DLSU was suspended from the UAAP for one season. When I finally confirmed it, then came the (expected) cuss words and the obligatory noooooooo! line.
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4/20/2006
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"Goodie then," you said a long time ago. "Everything will eventually fall into place without you knowing it."
You remember that? It was this little gamble. It was me taking my chances. It was me wanting to finally let go, and despite the pretensions, I somehow did it.
So, weeks after everything began, I'm not bothered. I'm quite happy it's all over. Or so it seems. Everything did fall into place, and despite the few times where I somehow think things have indeed performed a silent fallout on me, it doesn't. It's always been me and my paranoia.
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You remember that? It was this little gamble. It was me taking my chances. It was me wanting to finally let go, and despite the pretensions, I somehow did it.
So, weeks after everything began, I'm not bothered. I'm quite happy it's all over. Or so it seems. Everything did fall into place, and despite the few times where I somehow think things have indeed performed a silent fallout on me, it doesn't. It's always been me and my paranoia.
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4/18/2006
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After all of the fuss, apparently, I'm back at the dean's list.
And I'm back with a vengeance: a GPA of (probably) a 3.755, much higher than what I've been getting for the two terms before the last one. To think that the moment I got my Psychology course card I thought I would land at the second honors list, which I personally don't like.
But, oh well, be content with where you are now (like I'm not happy about it). Although some have fallen in rankings (noting Caresse getting a 3.05, according to her - she was calling me up in the middle of a jeepney journey), at least, somehow, a newfound sense of independence has led to, well, better performance in school. Of course, in my case, it is all untrue. I'm still somewhat distracted. Duh!
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And I'm back with a vengeance: a GPA of (probably) a 3.755, much higher than what I've been getting for the two terms before the last one. To think that the moment I got my Psychology course card I thought I would land at the second honors list, which I personally don't like.
But, oh well, be content with where you are now (like I'm not happy about it). Although some have fallen in rankings (noting Caresse getting a 3.05, according to her - she was calling me up in the middle of a jeepney journey), at least, somehow, a newfound sense of independence has led to, well, better performance in school. Of course, in my case, it is all untrue. I'm still somewhat distracted. Duh!
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4/17/2006
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So that's it. The end of our first year in college. For most of us it has become some sort of silent victory, one marked by an incessant uncertainty that refused to wear off despite our earnest efforts. Every turn it seems that something's against us, trying not to give us what we really want. And then we get it.
For me, I started off as a really anxious freshman. I thought I knew what to expect, and braced for it. Somehow, I was wrong - maybe ninety percent of the time - and then I come out of the campus, one last time as a frosh, with around half a hundred of poeple supporting somehow, in some way.
Think about this - a lot has changed in me during the past eleven months. Although woirldviews remain finicky at this time, it has somehow improved from a radically pessimistic one, to one that, at least, has some silver lining. Thank you's wouldn't do it now, though - again, there wouldn't be enough space.
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For me, I started off as a really anxious freshman. I thought I knew what to expect, and braced for it. Somehow, I was wrong - maybe ninety percent of the time - and then I come out of the campus, one last time as a frosh, with around half a hundred of poeple supporting somehow, in some way.
Think about this - a lot has changed in me during the past eleven months. Although woirldviews remain finicky at this time, it has somehow improved from a radically pessimistic one, to one that, at least, has some silver lining. Thank you's wouldn't do it now, though - again, there wouldn't be enough space.
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4/15/2006
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Finally, I got online. Finally.
Let's play catch-up, then, from the moment I left the computers more than a week ago. And, trust me, it's been really dragging. It's been, well, very boring, to the point that I could've been killed by all the thoughts I've been itching to write. And, this week seems to be the worst time to text people, especially when it's been their first time in a long time to grab a vacation. But eleven tags still mean a lot, though...
Thank heavens for pencil and paper. Let's begin then.
Read more »
Let's play catch-up, then, from the moment I left the computers more than a week ago. And, trust me, it's been really dragging. It's been, well, very boring, to the point that I could've been killed by all the thoughts I've been itching to write. And, this week seems to be the worst time to text people, especially when it's been their first time in a long time to grab a vacation. But eleven tags still mean a lot, though...
Thank heavens for pencil and paper. Let's begin then.
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4/07/2006
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As of this writing, something is terribly wrong with Photobucket, which is why nothing is (currently) showing up on my layout, except probably for the background colors (which is a back-up measure - an intelligent decision for layout designers to make), as well as another photo of the large bouquets Kim's receiving lately.
Well, the past day has been, well, boring. Unlike everybody else who's complaining of having to go back to school on Monday for their final exams (hello there, Clarence) I'm here blogging, waiting for MC to arrive and get her course card for Biology lab - by the way, she got a 3.5 and I got a 2.5, because of a hunch I didn't follow on the bandaging practical. Although this actually amounts to only one unit, it still feels a bit bad. Well, admittedly I didn't take both Biology classes seriously (I remember how Cuyeg reacted when I told him that - oh, how was his AVP with Jino's mom, one that Ale told me about so that I cang vie the guy a confidence boost?), so maybe this is the karma everyone's supposed to receive at some point in their lives. It's come to haunt me quite literally.
Aside from that, I haven't been panicking much about my grades. I think I said this before - I'm practically confident that I'll be back on the dean's list this term; the only question is whether it'll be on the first honors or the second honors list (which is for those who got a GPA of 3.0 to notches shy of 3.4). But, at least it'll feel good, that I bounced back without much pretensions. Cheers for high grades!
Read more »
Well, the past day has been, well, boring. Unlike everybody else who's complaining of having to go back to school on Monday for their final exams (hello there, Clarence) I'm here blogging, waiting for MC to arrive and get her course card for Biology lab - by the way, she got a 3.5 and I got a 2.5, because of a hunch I didn't follow on the bandaging practical. Although this actually amounts to only one unit, it still feels a bit bad. Well, admittedly I didn't take both Biology classes seriously (I remember how Cuyeg reacted when I told him that - oh, how was his AVP with Jino's mom, one that Ale told me about so that I cang vie the guy a confidence boost?), so maybe this is the karma everyone's supposed to receive at some point in their lives. It's come to haunt me quite literally.
Aside from that, I haven't been panicking much about my grades. I think I said this before - I'm practically confident that I'll be back on the dean's list this term; the only question is whether it'll be on the first honors or the second honors list (which is for those who got a GPA of 3.0 to notches shy of 3.4). But, at least it'll feel good, that I bounced back without much pretensions. Cheers for high grades!
Read more »
4/05/2006
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Between me and Isah, just now.
Henrik Batallones: (speechless?)Welcome back to DLSU, Isah. We're looking forward to seeing you again. Now you can catch up with everybody - and read my previous entry...
Isabel Rodriguez: haha
Henrik Batallones: haa... (stumped)
Isabel Rodriguez: wahaha
Isabel Rodriguez: this is one of those conversations
Isabel Rodriguez: wait
Isabel Rodriguez: let me rephrase that
Isabel Rodriguez: its conversations exactly like these that i never get to
have with fellow assumptionists that make mw want to go back to dlsu more
Isabel Rodriguez: hAHA
Henrik Batallones: right.
4/05/2006
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"Mahirap pero kakayanin, right?"
Anyone could just imagine how much I felt against the deblocking last term. I mean, you know - just when I got used to being with you guys, and I'm inching closer to being comfortable, we'll have to split up. Reading my previous entries, as well as your tags (which luckily still exist), it seemed that everybody was fearing having to split up. Or, it could be me blowing the whole thing up, but it sure didn't feel that way - heck, we shared the same sentiments!
Back then, I thought meeting up with blockmates during U-Break - texting Lau for locations, having lunch, exchanging laughs, catching up, not relating - it seemed genius back then. Nobody knew it would fall into place and become some symbol of how destiny enabled us to ease into the harsher world that is college.
Read more »
Anyone could just imagine how much I felt against the deblocking last term. I mean, you know - just when I got used to being with you guys, and I'm inching closer to being comfortable, we'll have to split up. Reading my previous entries, as well as your tags (which luckily still exist), it seemed that everybody was fearing having to split up. Or, it could be me blowing the whole thing up, but it sure didn't feel that way - heck, we shared the same sentiments!
Back then, I thought meeting up with blockmates during U-Break - texting Lau for locations, having lunch, exchanging laughs, catching up, not relating - it seemed genius back then. Nobody knew it would fall into place and become some symbol of how destiny enabled us to ease into the harsher world that is college.
Read more »
4/04/2006
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Our last Psychology class was marked with a surprise (but technically it isn't) seriousness, since nobody knows what to expect. It seems the surprise fallout between the class and Miss Calleja brought about a revolution when it comes to studying, or maybe cramming. So, we ended up having a test that wasn't entirely made up of multiple choice questions, a huge surprise especially to me. However, now I'm used to skipping questions that I'm clueless about, and in this case they were four technical questions, out of fifty items.
But the identification part still makes me cringe.
But, when I gave my paper, Miss Calleja told me something. Parts were inaudible, because it was a whisper against the murmurs of (some) people cheating, but she was saying pretty much the same things I've been told. You know, the I-know-you're-really-interested-in-this-subject kind of stuff, along with the if-you've-got-questions-freely-visit-the-department stuff. It felt nice, somehow, because I was one of those disillusioned when the last decent class discussion ended abruptly two weeks ago. Oh, and she referred me to a book, which I didn't catch as well.
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But the identification part still makes me cringe.
But, when I gave my paper, Miss Calleja told me something. Parts were inaudible, because it was a whisper against the murmurs of (some) people cheating, but she was saying pretty much the same things I've been told. You know, the I-know-you're-really-interested-in-this-subject kind of stuff, along with the if-you've-got-questions-freely-visit-the-department stuff. It felt nice, somehow, because I was one of those disillusioned when the last decent class discussion ended abruptly two weeks ago. Oh, and she referred me to a book, which I didn't catch as well.
Read more »
4/03/2006
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Third of April, and stuff are slowing down and picking up, weirdly. If anybody realizes correctly, things have gone in weird ways on the last two days of formal classes for the entire school year. I'm stuck at the same computer terminals where I've spent most of my afternoons in, where the staff are up and about looking for another laptop gone missing. Another case of theft. Another one, another one.
If there's a lesson I've learned today, although in ways not really as hurtful as it may seem, it's that there's no decent way to say goodbye. Well, I've been warned. It's college, everything's supposed to be fleeting, and nothing could not surprise you anymore. The next thing I know, something's new with the people I've come to know and love. It isn't really a case of disconnection, rather it's more of the time warp we've put ourselves in. We've been busy, incredibly busy even - and then, time slows down.
Suddenly I'm reminded of that post on Clarence's blog about time slowing down with excessive movement. Is that really the case? We've been doing a lot of things during the past ten months, and even if we stop for a bit and spent some rest, it seems, we've lost touch.
Read more »
If there's a lesson I've learned today, although in ways not really as hurtful as it may seem, it's that there's no decent way to say goodbye. Well, I've been warned. It's college, everything's supposed to be fleeting, and nothing could not surprise you anymore. The next thing I know, something's new with the people I've come to know and love. It isn't really a case of disconnection, rather it's more of the time warp we've put ourselves in. We've been busy, incredibly busy even - and then, time slows down.
Suddenly I'm reminded of that post on Clarence's blog about time slowing down with excessive movement. Is that really the case? We've been doing a lot of things during the past ten months, and even if we stop for a bit and spent some rest, it seems, we've lost touch.
Read more »
Niko Batallones writes The Upper Blog.
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