As if destiny had a way of getting back at me after all of the random thoughts I decided to throw on an unsuspecting world, I am still terribly unsure.
Midterms week. Just today I did a million things and yet I fail to get a million more done. I think I'm coming down with another sickness again. Nevertheless I think I did well on my homework, and more importantly, got my PSA done in five takes. We're now off to drama, and I'm trying to make a shallow story, at the most, out of using loose change.
I haven't had the time to get distracted lately. True enough, though, distractions are coming by - even the old ones (so old, only Issa knows about it). Or maybe I'm getting too tired even if I've been sleeping earlier, probably because I've been worrying about the smallest things, from interviews to portfolios to layouts and everything in between. Confusingly, though, I've never been in one of those "mind commutes" - a term I coined when Steph was looking for a magazine title - even if I've been terribly distracted lately.
And, again, it's a good thing. I've been a bit too focused lately I haven't even been caring about losing earphones plugged to my ears, instead relying on my inherent hyperactivity, from the stories I tell to the songs I end up singing. Friday in the dark room, and I thought Nadia was getting alienated until she told me nothing much has changed. Just today Danica was asking me about those hugs, thinking I terribly need some comforting, and simply because she's been getting them lately. Nevertheless my hands are still shaky, and my photos end up terribly steady or terribly unsteady.
And no, I haven't been talking either. Ten days later I'm careless again, blurting out words I'd rather not blurt out, getting desperate over homework simply because I wanted to feel the thrill (and my body refuses it at that), and making nothing out of sightings in the corridors. But true enough, destiny has a way of getting back at me after all of the random thoughts I decided to throw to an unsuspecting public, who suddenly couldn't care less whether I'm growing embittered over some relational development or not. I'm aware, though, that it won't last forever.
As if it was meant to be, yet again, I sent a shoutout and realized I was tired before I could say anything. And so goes my mind commute, but finally I haven't been wondering about opinions or conversations and all. I got myself started, though.
Just train yourself, will you? You'll need it badly, I bet.
2/19/2007
Niko Batallones writes The Upper Blog.
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