Before the graduation after-party

Provided everything goes well, we graduate in three terms. Three terms! Like, all I'm thinking of is getting that thesis right. It doesn't matter whether I get delayed - or, maybe, all I'm thinking is I'll eventually get delayed - but maybe it's finally been blasted into my psyche, the get this right or fail spectacularly attitude. (And if you've noticed the italics - yes, it's getting addictive again.)

But before all that, I'm more than honored to declare that I'm bored. Whenever I go online - and that usually happens in the afternoon - it's as if nobody's there. Or they're invisible, as New York-stuck Jason has been. But, come to think of it, if you survive on conversations in school - or maybe because you have to make them or you don't write decent articles - you lose all that vitality you thought would get you through summer. (And if you are in my position, summer vacation doesn't exist, much more if you're taking up summer classes like some of us.)

If you've been following stuff since last year, I've been involved in a million conversations. I've met some people there, and for some reason they're not here right now. Katia is probably either in Seattle or Seoul as we speak. Issa's been gone lately. Lizette's working as a marketing intern, which still related to her as a political science major. Alyssa's, well, somewhere else. And Ella's online when I'm not, and offline when I'm not either. Even the others are out - as far as I know Mimi and Karla are both taking up summer classes, and everybody else are, well, on vacation somewhere. Technically it gets boring, and of course I don't expect myself to get saner every time I write something here - you need the human connection, and it doesn't matter whether it's through underground cables or through passed breath. (Whatever that means. Still, this is the third statement in parenthesis I've had in three paragraphs. Isn't this addictive... as well?)

Impulsive decisions abound. After a handful of lines written I actually decided to add Chex up. And of course this isn't bound to mean anything. In the middle of it all I remember how I thought Issa wrote poems for blog entries when in reality she has two of them. (Actually, three. That one almost became mine, but got replaced with this.) Anyway, when Chex thought I was funny I was surprised. I thought I got bored to wits and got desperate! But my apologies - I don't know what I'm actually supposed to do now. Maybe just type some more, I guess. Darn it.

This summer is supposedly a thoughtful one. I mean, now we have all the time, we're supposed to be reflective and all. I'd probably go, this happened because I was all clumsy about making such an impression. I could have not hugged her in the first place. Darn it, darn it, darn it ad infinitum like SpongeBob did. Then again, for now my mind's blank, and I'm distracted by looking at (somewhat juvenile) Wikipedia articles while thinking of what else to write. Maybe I should be thinking of my thesis. It's been a long while since Chex left for Rockwell, and I figure I must be thinking of other stuff as well. As if it all matters.

Maybe this would do a good subject for the thesis - then again, the fifth term has made things so complicated. It won't work at all.

And your responses...

hm, it's like we breezed through college too xD

Anonymous Anonymous5/03/2007     

you should write about the virginia tech massacre. look into the mental illness of that dude. =]

Anonymous Anonymous5/03/2007     

aw. still here, man! just killed myself for a moment by going to Manila and back [to Seoul, sheesh!]. (that's what's "quickturn", btw.)

Blogger Katia5/03/2007     

Post a Comment