The vegetarian who loves bacon

Last Thursday I found myself lining at the SPS Canteen for lunch with Mara and Steph. The funnier thing was, I already had lunch by then, and I have done everything else I was supposed to do. Probably I only had to man the ACA booth and attend my classes, and maybe wrestle with the idea of going home while thinking of so many things. Anyway, somehow Mara raised her being a vegetarian at some point in her life, and with a quirk: she'll never pass up the chance to have bacon. Occasionally, some fish, sure, for being vegetarian isn't just having only vegetables, but bacon - that crispy strip of pork we usually get for breakfast, if you're lucky enough - is something she claims she couldn't resist.

Inevitably, at the ACA booth, they - I'm throwing myself out of the question because, well, you know why! - were talking about food. Steph had aligue-flavored rice, which everybody was suddenly hell-bent on discussing. Yeah, it's crab fat - even weirdly, Steph is allergic to crab - and Edong was finishing up what Steph hasn't finished, so heartily in fact, until he realizes that it is crab fat. All that time, Mara was merely eating while chatting about that and everything else. She's a third of the way through her curry rice, and it's been twenty minutes.

And all that's irresistible is still there. You know you have rules, but there are just some things you can never get away from - and yet usually get away with. There can only be so many glances you can steal from someone, and that's all you live for, eventually.

But sometimes, though, I wonder. What makes it so bad? I mean, nobody's stopping you to pursue your dream, and yet you label things as irresistible because, somehow, deep inside your subconscious, it's a no-go. Somehow you place that label there. I couldn't explore it any further, but you know what I mean, right?

I'll admit. I've been feasting on those little thought bubbles lately. Just because you're losing you head to class requirements, you decide that the best thing you can get to a breather is a pretty face, and only five seconds of it. Yeah, that sounds perverted - there are some times when I find myself practicing my camera movements with my eyes and an unlucky subject, which is equivalent to a body scan without lasers - but then again, you get away with it. And however hard attempts are to show that similar attitude is immoral, to blow the argument to proportions, you still get to do it.

You can keep a secret, I know. I can keep secrets - surely, because I've been keeping my secrets away from others for quite a while now. There are just so many things I'd be willing to tell, but my history traces back to the time when my relatives made fun of me whenever I publicly declare a crush on someone. They've been well documented, and yet it's not the lack of privacy that I get annoyed at - it's the celebrations that surround it. Since then I've never written about those people, except probably for the few people who can afford to do so. It's funnier thinking about the many times I've said nothing's to be refreshed, only for me to glance at another one and - pardon the term - swoon.

And only because, well, having a crush actually feels good, at least initially. Although now I'm having a fling with my thoughts and whoever it is that has caught my interest lately, it's still the fleeting type that never happens when they're gone and you're alone, trying to sleep. (Or maybe your dreams are doing the working. I dunno - that sometimes happens to me.) It's not the bouncy type you see in the movies, but rather a silent sense of satisfaction. They don't have to look at you, really, but they do. They really do. And then you scrutinize every feature, you look at how they smile and wonder how they do it, and the next thing you know, the entire thing's gone.

So I wonder what happened to Mara's attempts at being vegetarian. Somehow she still insists on growing fatter - I can't vouch for the accuracy of that paraphrase but everybody's had their battles - and yet when I look at her she doesn't seem to be that. And she still talks about having her bacon. A day later I still haven't written an entry about that, like I half-promised her, because by then I was observing television productions and listening in to half-secret conversations, and then I realized, that I'm indulging in yet another one of those thought flings. Another adjustment to the viewfinder, and yes, she's looking at you next.

It's as irresistible as bacon. Speaking of which, I haven't had some for quite a while now. Oooh, that smoked flavor. And suddenly, the memories that go along with it.

And your responses...

hmm, bacon..which reminds me of an old saying I always ignore..."masarap ang bawal"..hehe

Blogger Satty Ketchum6/25/2007     

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