Not that I don't want one but, well, it felt that way to some extent.
Earlier today Ariane was shopping for accessories. After our auditions at RX, and meeting up with Jem afterwards, we found ourselves at St. Francis Square, looking at the stalls, fiddling through bangles and earrings, and inevitably, me waiting on one side. I've always done that, even during the Christmas shopping season, whenever the rest of the family is out looking for new shoes or shirts to show off to some of our overzealous relatives, and not because I hate walking, or the sight of shoppers, but because for some reason I find it very pointless.
She had already bought a pair of earrings that I initially dismissed as "ordinary". But who am I to dismiss it as ordinary? To be honest it seemed like any other capiz earring, only it isn't made of capiz shells, but that's what you supposedly get for thirty bucks. We had already moved on to another stall, this time selling "semi-precious" stones made into, well, more accessories. The choice was between a pink (large) heart necklace or a glittery G-clef made of diamonds that most probably border on the faux pas. And the choice fell on me.
I don't know, but maybe I have an attraction for, well, bling. There's something with sparkling things that catch attention - well, that's the point of their being sparkling - so I chose the G-clef. And besides, the other necklace will eventually be annoying, especially if worn ever so often. (Her necklaces have gone poof on her, thus the half-impulsive purchases.) I was chuckling at myself because I made the choice very quickly, but more so because of what she told me before the choices were whittled down to two. I should get used to it, she says, just in case I have a girlfriend.
I have yet to meet a girl who doesn't like shopping. Maybe it's society, or they just want to be adorned with stuff. You can go singing that song, if you want. Diamonds are forever, forever, forevahhh... you get the idea. Nothing against that, really. It's just hit me in some way, not because of the fact that I don't have a girlfriend, but because if I do so, I'll have to do so many things. Then comes the question: how do they even do it?
This is the second time Ariane and I ventured into the world, just the two of us. The first time was three terms ago when we watched a film at the Shangri-la Plaza. Now I found myself retracing the steps Lizette and I took when we went home that fateful April day just so we won't get lost, and thankfully we didn't until at the very end, when we were very much fatigued from the walking. Nothing nostalgic occurred at the long line at the Ortigas station, probably because we were just tired (not to mention slightly freezing). I had an answer, though, to Ariane's little observation. "Mabuti na lang wala akong girlfriend," I said, "kasi mapipilitan akong gawin ito ng madalas."
Relationships cannot exist without commitments, though. Inalienable truth number I-won't-bother-to-count. I'd call that fluffy if it was the case. Maybe I just had a hangover from actually being forced to try to be witty for that recording, when Jude Rocha was asking me questions, and the inevitable "anything else you want to add?" that he kept on asking. Much like regretting why that didn't come out of my head when I needed it the most, or something like it, it eventually became the hallmark of actually finding myself on a situation that's, well, similar to a date. Or, as I argued with Ariane on the train, "loosely speaking, a date."
Maybe you'd want to call that "functional dates" - the one with a function to fulfill in the end, however practical it may get. But that's me being cynical, or I fail to realize that even romantic dates have a function, albeit latent in kind.
Spending time with friends is essential. I almost complained to Jude about that, when asked about me coping with college. They seem to know, do they? Nevertheless we ended up going home happy, although of course she was home before I was. She had the necklace, I had the paper bag, we had the audition, and however cheesy it may be, quality time. But the commitments you've grown to loathe a bit - well, it wasn't there. A different type, maybe, one that we should be doing just in case we pick up the phone and hear the good news...
...to think that I have a "lazy tongue", as Rico Robles explained with regards to my lisp. He also used to have one. There is a cure to everything. We just have to catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all...