10/31/2007
All three are taken

They said I'd get hit by the door when I was taking the photo. I wasn't. And Y2K doesn't look shabby here, either. Or so she claims.

One year later, and everyone is still out on a Halloween party.

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10/30/2007
Doors and school bells

It's not nice sitting sideways. Two feet against the chair to your left, listening to what's being said in front. You insist on looking to your left and end up wondering endlessly.

It's a two-day school week, but there's nothing to be very comfy about. Today I was supposed to submit two screenplays and a midterm paper. Since I got comments (to make it easier to swallow) over the second flashback I used for my decision screenplay, I decided to do a third revision, which is going to be due next week. It may seem surreal to have, for example, Gaille read your scene descriptions as uninterestingly as one can, and Marcia forget when her cue is, but at least I can take it pretty positively. I realize why my cycle of images seem so wrong.

I got tangled up on the story. I always believed I have a story to tell, whatever the result may be. Most of the time I face this window clueless as to what to type, but eventually, after a million taps on the keyboard, I've made something decent and coherent. I always thought I'd have enough stories to tell everyone, although whether I'd be telling them is an entirely different matter. For the screenplay, however, only the ending was mine. I kept on insisting to the people who I discuss the project with - I never had a girlfriend, I never got beaten up, and I never beat up someone.

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10/28/2007
Insensitivity

Now Norman has left for San Diego, and Karla's coping well with the year-long distance, I wonder why, unlike everybody else, I haven't been crying.

Karla wrote something about his last day, for now at least, in the country. I've long known about his impending departure, and I've long known about how the two are trying to cope. That's why she left class earlier last Friday - so that she could spend more time with him, maybe in all those sentimental places, and eventually to the airport. I've long known about how hard this will be - to put it bluntly, if you're basically alone and the one you're with leaves you temporarily, it will affect you very much - and when I was reading the entry, I understood it even more. All those places that hold some meaning to the two, all of the terms the two throw at each other, and eventually, the plane, as it flew over the Pacific.

Yet I was the one who never got affected. No emotional connection, no immediate reaction, nothing at all. While everybody else claimed that they were crying in front of the monitor - blockmates, close friends, unlikely people - I could only give a token "sniff" in my reply.

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10/27/2007
Interrupted conversations

The little thing Edsel, Fatzi and I recorded managed to turn my mood around. I was on the verge of bingeing over pasta, maybe sleep immediately afterwards, and die a silent death.

And to think I resisted laughing.

Some may say that my life is generally a joyless one. Something in my pair of eyeglasses makes things a little bit grim, a little bit bad for everybody. Could be my fault I can't see through it, that despite the best moments of my life one thing manages to outweigh all of them. I don't know what else will.

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10/25/2007
Lipstick

The first readers in today's script reading of John Alsop's adaptation of the Audtralian novel An Imaginary Life. From left: Ricky Davao, Jason Lopez, Jackie Uy and Derek Tan.

I've been in DLSU for three years, and within that time frame I have attended three screenplay readings. Among those three, I've been a bit reader for two. Things come out of it, whatever way you look at it. I may not have such a good voice for delivering lines with utmost conviction, but hey, I still get the perks.

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10/23/2007
For a minute there, I lost myself

"I don't usually talk about this, but you know that feeling, right? It's just a crush, but either I fuss over it too much or too little."

"Yeah. When it's not supposed to be a big deal, but it feels like one."

"Or the other way around. I don't know why but I hate it."

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10/22/2007
Why look so far away?

"Yeah, I missed May too," I wrote. "That was my best month."

"Mine too," Lizette replied. "Met Marco that month."

By now I'm already used to hearing people extol the virtues of romance. Excessive idle time last Saturday exposed me to the reality that everyone, however unseeming it may be, would most definitely have a squeeze to call their own. You know, at first glance, the ones who don't and the ones who do, but there are the ones that mislead. There are the ones that manage to give you a false sense of hope, but somehow, you know that deep inside someone already has the price.

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10/20/2007
What I wrote on the bus (while Fran was asleep)

What follows were originally written this morning, on the bus going to Malolos, Bulacan, and this afternoon, on the bus back to Manila, as part of our field trip to meet and immerse with community journalists for journalism practices class.

Thirty-seven past seven in the morning. Mae and Arlene have fun inside the bus. I take the photos, as usual.

Twenty-five past seven in the morning.


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10/16/2007
This is obviously not an apology letter

Reena got a bit blurry on this one. Blame the fact that I only have a mobile phone for a camera.

Last night, Rozette and I talked about stuff, which is weird enough because, to be honest, for a person like me who loves conversations that are well-meant and well-received, I don't expect us to talk. That day she became one of the lucky few to get chocolates from Sir Doy (which is surprising, considering that he hasn't been out of the country for the two years I've been a CAM student). She was telling me about it, because the circumstances itself were funny to an extent. Makes for a good fifty-word story, I thought. If Sir Doy recognizes it's him I wrote about, it'd be funny.

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10/14/2007
"Never guess, but decide"

In rare cases, it takes a serious bout of confusion for one to realize what he really wants.

Let me pretend for a bit, I thought, and imagine that things are much better than what they really are.

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10/12/2007
It's like being one of them

Outright support for the school, after the victory... and Sara still manages to look at the camera at the best possible time.

I am in love with a chocolate chip. In a day that's slow and sick, I had solace in a handful of chocolate chip cookies. I had a runny nose after chopping onions up, after laughing out so loud, after losing my sense of time... it's just weird today.

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10/10/2007
Stamp it and fly back

This was before we were told about our (initial) fate. Cuyeg still smiled at this one. We weren't in despair, though. Just seven more revisions, I hope. Why seven exactly remains a question.

Yes, Misha, I'm incurably positive. You wished us "great" luck last night. Now we're to resubmit our concept proposal.

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10/08/2007
Significance in

The retreat house was fully booked, until April of next year. We're just a blip in there.

"Maging happy ka naman," Kat wrote. "Emo is overrated."

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10/05/2007
When things haven't seemed to change

It's been that busy, but I've been taking photos, still. I was supposed to do a motion blur, but the door closed too quickly, and all I got was... a photo of Zet. Surprise, surprise.

I'll just continue the last entry on calendars, but obviously I need to look back rather than look forward.

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10/01/2007
Publicly private pratter

A relationship is like ice cream. Leave it under the sun and the bonds break away. Keep things cool and it becomes more enjoyable.

I rarely talk about my schedule, but since first days are opportunities for new things, I'm going to do just that. But honestly, it's because I've been thinking about time management for the first time since I started college! Thank the teachers for thinking about teaching us that, along with Mang Jack's classroom appearances and our wide-eyed anticipation for the three-heart rule, but it never made sense until now.

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