I am in love with a chocolate chip. In a day that's slow and sick, I had solace in a handful of chocolate chip cookies. I had a runny nose after chopping onions up, after laughing out so loud, after losing my sense of time... it's just weird today.
And yesterday was weird as well. I don't usually party, although yesterday's celebration wasn't exactly a party in the strictest sense of the word. It was more of hell for claustrophobes, and maybe that got me sick. I got slightly rained out, sweaty for a bit, rubbing too much with too many people, and then went home in a terribly cold bus. Not another break in the routine, I thought. No classes today - that's what came next. Then this.
Well, I wouldn't have attended that thing in the first place, but since my end - in this university, at least - is fast approaching, I might as well go. I chatted with Tin last night, and she said she misses her frosh years when I started talking about how the promise of "free-flowing food" wasn't a reality for those who either didn't get a food stub, or had a food stub but ran out of food anyway. On the other hand, even if it wasn't much of an exhilarating experience for me - I didn't follow the game much, and I hate the feeling of running out of breath - it was, nevertheless, something for the record books. At least I soaked myself up in what most regard as school spirit.
But now I feel sick. I still can't stop snuffling, although what made me runny has run out. I still can't believe I have smiled pretty well - what I thought is an exaggerated one is just enough. I still can't get started on the screenplay for tomorrow, rather spending my entire afternoon uploading photos on a slow Internet connection, and fixing our concept proposal. The sneezes are few and far between, but they're big ones. I end up having an itchy throat afterwards. Must be the price I pay for being different for a night.
I actually feel grossed out at myself. I might want to sleep but I can't.
But I should, actually. Tomorrow's another orientation, this time for the (last) community service program I'm in this term. I'm going with Shiftee because I don't really know how to go there by myself. So much for independence, right? It's just more pounding for the different feeling that holidays and changed routines cause.
It's a jarring feeling, sitting in someone else's shoes for the sake of having fun. I didn't really have to, but it's a different feeling being a fan in air quotes. When we watched the game's last four minutes last Sunday, I was cheering along, aside from obviously taking the photos. I was singing along to the school hymn and realized I knew the words all along. I paid the price for that - I almost lost my voice the next day. Maybe I should do what I do best and not pay the price for being conformist or something. Then again, it's nice having fun once in a while, whatever that means now.
For yesterday, maybe, it was me suddenly appearing inside the LSPO, when the Green Archers were cordoned off there, to prevent the fans from sipping the rest out of them. Lau was so surprised to see me, apparently, she laughed. I was just there to submit my reflection paper for the retreat. What else I was meant to do totally slipped my mind. And it seems that's it's going to stay something mysterious for the rest of our lives, like the contents of the limited edition storybook they were mentioning during the mass.
And then, I'll resume my love affair with the chocolate chip. But it's time for dinner. I do have to leave it behind, and then imagine what else could have been on the fifty-word story that's half-inspired by the one in front. Chocolate chips rule, though.