This is obviously not an apology letter

Reena got a bit blurry on this one. Blame the fact that I only have a mobile phone for a camera.

Last night, Rozette and I talked about stuff, which is weird enough because, to be honest, for a person like me who loves conversations that are well-meant and well-received, I don't expect us to talk. That day she became one of the lucky few to get chocolates from Sir Doy (which is surprising, considering that he hasn't been out of the country for the two years I've been a CAM student). She was telling me about it, because the circumstances itself were funny to an extent. Makes for a good fifty-word story, I thought. If Sir Doy recognizes it's him I wrote about, it'd be funny.

Today, though, she asked the best question I probably got in my entire spell in college.

"Why didn't you say hi?"

Last night I mentioned that I barely see her elsewhere aside from SJ Walk. There are a few times when we'd cross paths (without noticing) somewhere at Miguel's second floor, but nothing ever came out of it, even if I have already added her up on YM. It started two-thirds of a year ago, though, when she somehow stumbled herself on my photos and I realized that her then headshot was taken along the benches near the amphitheater. Since I was taking up photography at that time, I also knew it was taken with a DSLR. I don't know why that particular moment fascinated me - it just happens, I guess.

Well, you know how things somehow manage to come up waaay after they're long dumped. I don't recall anymore why I decided to add her up on Multiply and on Last.fm. Maybe it was because we shared the same course, only she was a year below. I managed to find that out when I mentioned it to Alyssa - and apparently she somehow knows her as well.

Three saved conversations after, I crossed paths with her again today. I was waiting for M208 to open up, and Sir Doy forgot that we had film writing class. (At least he came early today. I somehow got dragged into the joke.) I frequented the water fountains like I used to, especially when all I had for breakfast are two muffins, and there it was.

I didn't really think of saying hi. All I know is that she passed by me and I passed by her. If I did greet her, it'd be very awkward on my part, because, if you've noticed, I'm writing this entry out of an old fit of extreme sociability. Alyssa was another case, and I did blurt out the announcement that classes were suspended on the day DLSU got flooded inside and out. I could've also done it to Issa when we were both in Baguio, but there went my sociability. It was a half-arranged meet-up, in a tourist spot at that, and there I was missing out. Obviously Zet would receive the same treatment.

I mentioned that to her today. It happened at the second floor, so it probably deserves a mention. I can't recall, but I think she didn't notice - another subtle sign that I blend in well to the point of being just one of them. She asked me the question. I asked myself the same.

It isn't really a story of whether I was assertive or not. I slept at 01.00 that morning, so maybe I was still half-asleep, thinking anxiously about the screenplay I just finished, and whether it'd turn out to be as shallow as the first one. That, among so many other things, so the usual stereotype would see me not noticing whether people pass by. And by then maybe I wouldn't really care whether Zet is feeling extra sociable as well - probably we would have chatted a bit and then she'd take off for the comfort room. Or I risk making a fool of myself, which I am doing now.

But maybe we're forgetting something. Now that we're constrained to our planners, our calendars and our concepts, no wonder we forget about the people.

Then again, I answered something about the thought of actually greeting her being too late. We have passed by each other by then. And no, I probably wouldn't be as excited when it happens again. Maybe we'd be on the lookout for each other. Or maybe it'd be just me, like it has always been for the past few years or so, and only because I have been constrained to my planners, my calendars and my concepts.

Or maybe we'd talk about the chocolates Sir Doy gave her class.

And your responses...

Hey! :) You wrote about Sir Doy giving us chocolates? Hahaha I wonder how he'd react when he reads it.. :)) -zet

Anonymous Anonymous10/16/2007     

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