In partial fulfillment of the need to survive college

Early in the afternoon, we were still playing with the television and the camera. That night, everyone would've either committed suicide, already have, or are just asleep.

You can just imagine our slight frustration - Jason, Cuyeg and I - the moment we finally finished our thesis proposal. Seriously. Frustration. All after Misha told Jason - online, since I was logged in - that Nadia's proposal was somewhere along fifty-odd pages.

Well, in the words of Sir Mariano, what matters is that "there was a diligent search." Our proposal clocked in at twenty-four pages, one short of what I was aiming for. Jason and I made our little "excuse" on the bus from Cuyeg's place somewhere in Quezon City - we decided to describe our proposal as concise. Ironically, I write long blog entries, but it was a common decision to give each film we cite a paragraph instead of, say, three that our co-mentee Mae made.

But there really is no point in comparing proposals, more so across mentors. We ourselves think that we have made a diligent search, at least judging by the fact that we were given barely twelve days to work on this proposal. Two weeks ago there was nary a piece of paper in sight. Now we've sent more emails and tortured more laptops - hello, Iza! - than the rest of the world combined. I even realized that I absolutely abhor rubber pads to protect keyboards on both the iMac and the MacBook, since it really slows down my typewriting. That's not what you need when you're pressed for time.

And, we're pretty confident we've got everything covered. Nope, it's not an excuse - maybe three readings made us realize what we really want to do. Our short literature review mostly discussed our main character's psychology, aside from a few paragraphs regarding realism in film. On the other hand, some managed to admit that some of their sources were placed there for the heck of it. (Misha Balangue, 2007: "unnecessary.") And others, well, have shorter proposals - Kat's, for example, because they're going on uncharted waters in proposing a sitcom pilot - while others have remained unheard of.

Last night was weird, but expected altogether. Almost everybody was online, only to tell the world they're busy (and that was a funny thing Redg pointed out earlier). From where we were, we had a webcam on - personally dubbed as the ThesisCam - and was actually viewed by four people throughout the night. But being on YM served a function - we asked around about whether a cover page was actually needed. Eventually we didn't print one, but not after so much convincing - Misha didn't because Nadia didn't, John and Les had instructions, and we initially thought we had to.

And, when all was done and finished, we danced to Cuyeg's soulful MP3s. And realized that they have sixty-two page proposals.

Today wasn't really much of a reality check. It felt like the school day before, and most definitely because everybody barely realized that it was the last day of regular classes. I did watch my first thesis defense, though, and missed out on Peter's film by fifteen minutes, even if his thesis partner Norman reminded me from San Diego. Two more shorts, eventually, before I left for the library, and the other reality, that we still have to do something. Well, not everybody, but with one interview and a faint idea on what to do, I'm sure to make people less satisfied than they are supposed to.

But the feeling of frustration that happened last night was unforgettable - that, and me crossing EDSA at ten in the evening. At one point I felt someone orange would pounce on me.

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