There's something with Kahit Kailan. That's the song that reminds me of Ale, up until now. Back in our freshman year we'd sing this to her in an attempt to make her cry, because, well, she claims that song makes her cry. What used to be a symbol of mushiness became something lighter.
I don't really hear that song now. Whatever happened to South Border is something else, basically because I haven't any idea either. The same goes for Ale, who I have seen only after two full weeks of classes.
That's why it's sometimes fun to rediscover a bit about the past we sort of shared. Most have forgotten about that stage, and many more things have happened after that. Eventually I have forgotten about all the other details in between, because people come and go, and even if they're still there, they manage to go away without you even noticing.
Apparently the first memory she has of me was a first impression. I always get this, me being gay. There's this less obscure, but much freakier, moment when Jom came up to me and candidly said that he thought I was gay, along with Sudoy and Martin. Now, three years later, she tells me about it, and even manages to apologize. Maybe she got freaked out when everything else happened - something to the extent of, my golly, this guy's got a crush on me? - until the impression was scrubbed off. Or that's something that time does.
The next thing we share is a bit more usual. Most of our conversations do start with "Henrik, favor..." - and I'd almost always oblige. Heck, even our advanced radio production assignment involved intense negotiations via text message, until she did it herself. Why I wouldn't remember this is another thing in itself, probably because I never really thought of it as something fairly significant in our friendship. Favors, favors, favors, nothing else.
Aside from that, maybe, it's her laughter that fills the room, especially when things seemed to be much more exciting. Back in first year, innocence was the theme, and Ale seemed to look a bit nicer than now, which explains for the lack of confidence in myself back then. Maybe I've stared a bit too much at her eyes now, and finally, I figured a semblance to a strong personality, coupled with something unexplainable.
How she does it remains a question.
I mean, really. Fascination dies down with time, and memories die down with time, too, and yet I found an urge to give her a hug when I finally saw her last Thursday. I mean, she never really was gone - maybe circumstances dictated otherwise, but what the heck - but for some reason, it feels like it. And yet, when she appears again, everything comes back. Out from the ashes, maybe. A bird, perhaps?
If there's anything else, call me. I know it doesn't make sense, but they asked for something random, and I obliged.
1/21/2008
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Niko Batallones writes The Upper Blog.
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