Cynicism denies you love

I went to work by myself yesterday, which meant I had to endure a cramped illegal (of sorts) vehicle and try to get some shut-eye while everybody else shakes with the road craters. The least you can get is some room to stretch, and perhaps some room for me to make sure no artist gets repeated on my iPod - that's how fussy I am. But it's the morning trips, and they're usually packed to the brim, and you can only imagine my exasperation when this guy came in and rounded off the row of seats where I was.

It usually takes four people to fill a seat, theoretically, but this guy is big. Don't get me wrong - I haven't got anything against big people. I just remember the feeling of getting a bit squeezed by this package of earphones, presumably fake Lacoste shirt and more than some pounds. Quite inevitably, as I'm in the middle of the row, I'd have slightly better peripheral vision, and that meant I can see what that guy, scruffy hair and all, was texting.

Now, my father taught me not to look at what others are texting others. I remember nine years ago, back when Shopwise was newly-opened and the Nokia 7110 was the newest mobile there is. I was looking at this guy's shoulder, but only to see that phone at work, with its scrolling wheel and wider screen. Ten years later, I still remember what the guy was texting: "happy father's day!"

That scenario bounced through my head, but with the scruffy guy texting, well, he can't do anything about it either. The tight space is involuntary, and you'll end up really seeing whether the person beside you is drooling while unknowingly asleep, if so. What the scruffy guy was texting, though, was a completely different question.

"Hi baby ko," he began.

Oh no. He's texting his girlfriend. He's got a girlfriend?

"Dito na po ako sa van. Ingat po kayo sa bus!"

Now, here's where my morning exasperation gets spiked up. Here's this big guy texting his girlfriend, updating her with everything he's been up to. And I understand the need for both parties in a relationship to respect each other, but sometimes you can only go so far. If you're a couple, why do you have to talk to each other as if she's your mother or your grandmother?

"Mwah!" he continued. "Lotsa..."

I refused to look.

The good thing with a tight space is, there's less reaction to whatever force you may be subjected to. Everybody else absorbs the pain, unless you are really meant to die in a car accident. Thus, as the vehicle cruised past the South Luzon Expressway, I had my eyes closed, with John Mayer crooning breathily about how he found his city love in a woman named Lydia. And I guess everybody else was, too. I returned to my senses along C5, and the scruffy guy was texting again.

"Hi baby ko," he began again. "Just got up."

Do you actually have to tell her that?

"Malapit na po ako sa Ortigas. Nasaan na po kayo?"

Inevitably my mind would go on a headjam. If I had a girlfriend, would I do the same thing? Aside from the usual "good morning" and "good night" text messages - it's a prerequisite, I say - would I have to tell her about every breath I take? "Hon, I'm eating lunch na. How na you?" "Hon, I'm walking back to the office na. How na you?" "Hon, this is my last load na. How na you?" In an age when ladies cry out for breathing space, perhaps it's good if you let the person be and not pester them with updates about whether you're eating that last green pea or not, because your life will not, and should not, circulate around the person you swore to love forever, like a fan is to an idol.

So, if I had a girlfriend, maybe I'll text when both of us are free, not when one is busy talking to a client or when the other is arguing with the boss. There's no need to insist that you two are together. There's no need to insist that you two love each other, to the point of annoying the heartbroken and delirious person beside you. Most importantly, there's no need for one to know whether the other is coughing, or the other is being stalked by a supposed authority figure, or whether the other is just being the reason why you liked her in the first place. It's a given. You can't leave it behind, but you shouldn't obsess over it too much either - because that will definitely break what you've never wanted to break.

And they say cynicism denies you love.

And your responses...

mahilig din akong tumingin ng patakas kapag may nag tetext. curiosity, you know. haha!

anyway. ayun. ako din nag tataka kung ganun din ba gagawin ko IF EVER na magka bf ako, since naiinis ako sa mga nakikita kong "musta na u bhe? luv u!" UH! parang walang bukas.

Blogger N.9/24/2008     

manager! musta na you? okay ba you? nyahaha. :))

Anonymous Anonymous9/25/2008     

"wer na u? hir na me? luv u beh ko :)"

wahaha wasak. :D

ang cynical mo niko, natawa ako sa post mo eh. haha :D

wala akong ibang masabi. wahaha na lang for now.

(ateneo won wahaha)

Anonymous Anonymous9/25/2008     

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