Before, I'd be brimming with ideas, and I'd somewhat impatiently wait for my daily tasks to end so that I can start writing them down and get them over with. Now, I have absolutely nothing to say.
It's as if my brain just stopped working. For some reason, I took pride in my ability to concoct things while walking. It's been that way during most of my idle time in school, although time has proven that it isn't a good thing. It's been that way after most field trips, because that was the best way for me to fully assimilate what I supposedly just learned or did. Lately it's been my means for figuring out what I exactly did, or didn't do at work. Or, perhaps, what they didn't do. Sure, it might have worsened my emotional state at some points, but it's better than I get battered while being clueless.
I'm always torn about my quiet time. Sometimes I think it's not a good thing, partly because I wasn't exactly raised in such a scenario. Tell us what you think is often a catchphrase on news channels who are bent on filling dead air with opinions. If I don't get heard - heck, if I don't get the chance to speak - I'd feel disregarded. Suddenly your thoughts don't matter in the ways of the world, just when they say that they actually do. Look at all the stories I can tell that might just change the world!
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10/31/2008
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10/29/2008
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Yesterday was Carmel's last day at work. Unlike me, though, who's bent on leaving as soon as possible, her case was due to her tenure actually ending. For the past four months she was working as an intern for the International Organization for Migration, and within those four months she worked the databases, organized data, and chatted with a handful of people on a computer that lagged even if it isn't doing nothing.
I have her to thank for keeping me sane from an Ortigas skyscraper's window.
I knew she was to leave pretty soon, although if I remember correctly she was offered a long-term position within the organization. I don't know, or understand, why she turned it down. (Maybe it's just me who's thinking that we should not just let go of things, the reason why I'm still here.) The past week wasn't much, really - it's either we're talking about American politics, which meant me showing her Saturday Night Live clips and her showing me full-length videos of the presidential debates, or the Jonas Brothers - but I was a little wary that I'd start losing it again once she leaves. Besides, Samantha's got school, Ella's got to sleep, and do I have to push all those other points?
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I have her to thank for keeping me sane from an Ortigas skyscraper's window.
I knew she was to leave pretty soon, although if I remember correctly she was offered a long-term position within the organization. I don't know, or understand, why she turned it down. (Maybe it's just me who's thinking that we should not just let go of things, the reason why I'm still here.) The past week wasn't much, really - it's either we're talking about American politics, which meant me showing her Saturday Night Live clips and her showing me full-length videos of the presidential debates, or the Jonas Brothers - but I was a little wary that I'd start losing it again once she leaves. Besides, Samantha's got school, Ella's got to sleep, and do I have to push all those other points?
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10/26/2008
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"I miss my laptop," Jenn said.
"Where's it?" I answered.
"Pinaayos ko eh," she explained. "Sira yung fans at heat sink niya kaya nag-auto shut down parati. I have people pray din na heat sink ang sira and not the logic board. [It] costs around P45,000."
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"Where's it?" I answered.
"Pinaayos ko eh," she explained. "Sira yung fans at heat sink niya kaya nag-auto shut down parati. I have people pray din na heat sink ang sira and not the logic board. [It] costs around P45,000."
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10/22/2008
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10/19/2008
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"Hey!" Eena said. I returned the greeting.
"I had to buzz you," she explained. "I saw you in Google. Well, I mean I stumbled upon your blog, and then I saw my name!"
"Like, finally," I said, attempting to be irreverent again. Then again, it's been a while since I started writing about our trivial classmate stories, about that unlikely friendship that started with literature class where I ended up sharing my first crazy encounters with college crushes, and perhaps beyond. Quite a lot has happened since then, although we've met quite a handful of times after that, notably as classmates in yet another literature class. Still, I had to push it.
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"I had to buzz you," she explained. "I saw you in Google. Well, I mean I stumbled upon your blog, and then I saw my name!"
"Like, finally," I said, attempting to be irreverent again. Then again, it's been a while since I started writing about our trivial classmate stories, about that unlikely friendship that started with literature class where I ended up sharing my first crazy encounters with college crushes, and perhaps beyond. Quite a lot has happened since then, although we've met quite a handful of times after that, notably as classmates in yet another literature class. Still, I had to push it.
Read more »
10/17/2008
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"I'll change my profile," Ella said. "Lalagay ko I'm married to you."
In the middle of a plot twist, I was surprised. "Serious?" I answered back.
"Ayaw mo?" she retorted.
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In the middle of a plot twist, I was surprised. "Serious?" I answered back.
"Ayaw mo?" she retorted.
Read more »
10/16/2008
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They say, in a Filipino perspective at least, that the bigger the boobs, the sexier the girl.
I don't know, really. During the age when I'm supposed to have raging hormones, I never really figured out the difference. Back when I was way younger, I think everybody was the same, bikini or otherwise. FHM came along, and suddenly there it was, printed in color ink and glossy paper. The bigger the boobs, the sexier the girl. And perhaps almost everything else.
I don't read FHM, but I came across it, like every other sort-of-grown man in our generation, during high school. Back then it was a risky thing, with schools quick to ban its entry because of an unusually high amount of exposed body parts, or so they claimed. Suddenly you have sexy film stars baring their breasts and their butts for posterity. Suddenly you have men trying to peer through the velvet just to see even the slightest hint of nipple. As in they really squeal.
Read more »
I don't know, really. During the age when I'm supposed to have raging hormones, I never really figured out the difference. Back when I was way younger, I think everybody was the same, bikini or otherwise. FHM came along, and suddenly there it was, printed in color ink and glossy paper. The bigger the boobs, the sexier the girl. And perhaps almost everything else.
I don't read FHM, but I came across it, like every other sort-of-grown man in our generation, during high school. Back then it was a risky thing, with schools quick to ban its entry because of an unusually high amount of exposed body parts, or so they claimed. Suddenly you have sexy film stars baring their breasts and their butts for posterity. Suddenly you have men trying to peer through the velvet just to see even the slightest hint of nipple. As in they really squeal.
Read more »
10/15/2008
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Imagine being in a gathering for the first time. You don't know anybody. After doing the initial rounds of getting in and settling down, you find yourself stunned by the sheer vastness of the crowd.
You suddenly hear a voice in your head. "Ano, tutunganga ka na lang diyan?" it says. "Makipag-usap ka!"
There are a lot of faces, and you're trying to pick out at least one that you can approach. You're hoping that one of those faces is a familiar one, because that's a guaranteed starting spot, unless that face is busy being a face to somebody else.
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You suddenly hear a voice in your head. "Ano, tutunganga ka na lang diyan?" it says. "Makipag-usap ka!"
There are a lot of faces, and you're trying to pick out at least one that you can approach. You're hoping that one of those faces is a familiar one, because that's a guaranteed starting spot, unless that face is busy being a face to somebody else.
Read more »
10/14/2008
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I didn't really have to force myself to think of things. They just start rushing despite the earphones and the microwaved instant meal. Stop worrying about conversations. Stop worrying about crushes. Stop worrying about allowances. Go grow up now!
And then, in a fit of impulse, I ordered a sundae cone.
It's a chocolate sundae cone. Nothing but creamy chocolate, branded for guaranteed quality. To push the point further, yet another guarantee, this time about the milk's Australian origins. It's fifteen bucks, which was a good way for me to spend my loose change.
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And then, in a fit of impulse, I ordered a sundae cone.
It's a chocolate sundae cone. Nothing but creamy chocolate, branded for guaranteed quality. To push the point further, yet another guarantee, this time about the milk's Australian origins. It's fifteen bucks, which was a good way for me to spend my loose change.
Read more »
10/11/2008
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Ella knows my frustrations as a writer very well. I always find myself lost for words during the last hours of my shift, and she'd subtly (or otherwise) goad me to pursue some topic or some avenue at stardom. One time, we ended up discussing my plans of submitting something to Youngblood, that thing in the Inquirer which features opinions from the "twentysomething and below."
I ended up admitting that I haven't really thought of something to write about, or in this case, how to write it. After all, I didn't want whatever I submit to end up reading like one of these blog entries, as if there's still a need to make myself feel good. She merely said, "go!"
I have been thinking of how to write things lately. I've been frequenting bookstores lately, for one reason or another, and incoherent phrases have popped up in my head. Incoherent, yes, but at least I have phrases. I'm not rushing anyway.
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I ended up admitting that I haven't really thought of something to write about, or in this case, how to write it. After all, I didn't want whatever I submit to end up reading like one of these blog entries, as if there's still a need to make myself feel good. She merely said, "go!"
I have been thinking of how to write things lately. I've been frequenting bookstores lately, for one reason or another, and incoherent phrases have popped up in my head. Incoherent, yes, but at least I have phrases. I'm not rushing anyway.
Read more »
10/09/2008
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I've not been thinking of much over the past few weeks. In fact, I've just been smug here, on the middle computer overlooking the window, watching the rain fall on the Ortigas Center, or in other times, just watching the sun set, which is ironic, because I don't even see the sun from where I am.
I'm actually thankful that the folks at Seattle decided to play with our assignments, which meant I was off the profiles, and back to writing news articles. Even funnier, I got a section all to myself, at least within the team: the film news section. While I try to resist myself from writing about the impending Twilight film - although I am compelled to since it's got broad appeal, and it's an inevitable conversation started with Carmel - I find a little fun in finding out things that actually make me feel connected to the world. That may have entailed an hour-long sequence of looking for suitable news articles and finding a good photo to crop, and it is a routine after all, but for once, it's something exciting.
I'm also thankful to myself, that I finally had the gall to leave for lunch without hesitation, and be willing to walk longer distances for it. Only with my earphones, I walk along mall corridors trying to figure out where to eat next, without having to contend with the entire district's lunch crowd. Yesterday, I think I spent too much on lunch, but as my mother told her friends, it's the only thing I'm splurging on. That might've made me look like a glutton, but that's what the world is for.
Read more »
I'm actually thankful that the folks at Seattle decided to play with our assignments, which meant I was off the profiles, and back to writing news articles. Even funnier, I got a section all to myself, at least within the team: the film news section. While I try to resist myself from writing about the impending Twilight film - although I am compelled to since it's got broad appeal, and it's an inevitable conversation started with Carmel - I find a little fun in finding out things that actually make me feel connected to the world. That may have entailed an hour-long sequence of looking for suitable news articles and finding a good photo to crop, and it is a routine after all, but for once, it's something exciting.
I'm also thankful to myself, that I finally had the gall to leave for lunch without hesitation, and be willing to walk longer distances for it. Only with my earphones, I walk along mall corridors trying to figure out where to eat next, without having to contend with the entire district's lunch crowd. Yesterday, I think I spent too much on lunch, but as my mother told her friends, it's the only thing I'm splurging on. That might've made me look like a glutton, but that's what the world is for.
Read more »
10/07/2008
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They say talk is cheap. Well, I beg to disagree.
Think about it. You made friends when you were a kid, and you'd talk about what you saw on television, in which case your parents had to buy a television to sustain your burgeoning social life. If you're in an upscale neighborhood, your parents would have to pull out a cable subscription, so you can discuss whatever's on Cartoon Network with your Upper East Side protégé friends.
You also probably made friends in school, which wouldn't be possible if your parents never paid for your tuition fee. But you probably entered public school, in which case the expenses would have been smaller, but you still paid for the stuff you eat during recess, which always keeps the conversation going.
Read more »
Think about it. You made friends when you were a kid, and you'd talk about what you saw on television, in which case your parents had to buy a television to sustain your burgeoning social life. If you're in an upscale neighborhood, your parents would have to pull out a cable subscription, so you can discuss whatever's on Cartoon Network with your Upper East Side protégé friends.
You also probably made friends in school, which wouldn't be possible if your parents never paid for your tuition fee. But you probably entered public school, in which case the expenses would have been smaller, but you still paid for the stuff you eat during recess, which always keeps the conversation going.
Read more »
10/04/2008
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The supposed inspiration for the latest tactic to waste ten minutes of your time - okay, reading this blog entry, if you still don't get it - was a little exchange between me and Zet on her blog. I'm perfectly aware that the budding photographer is madly in love, and that there's nothing we can do about it, but with that concession comes another person that we sadly lose to the fire. No, it isn't that bad, but...
"Ahhh - or ugh - romance and its dairy content," I typed in.
"Ugh siguro," she replied a day later. "I used to hate cheesiness, but I've turned super cheesy." She had to emphasize the last two words.
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"Ahhh - or ugh - romance and its dairy content," I typed in.
"Ugh siguro," she replied a day later. "I used to hate cheesiness, but I've turned super cheesy." She had to emphasize the last two words.
Read more »
10/03/2008
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Kris copied what Miss Abi said to her elsewhere, just to let the rest of the team know. "Ma'am would like to have a brown bag lunch with the writers today," she typed in. "Conference room."
I didn't have a clue. "Brown bag lunch," I merely said.
That conference was quiet. There was just Glenn and Valerie discussing whether they can beg out or now. Neobie was tight-lipped. I returned to typing my news articles, which has been my saving grace on a surprisingly light day, thanks to the vice presidential debates.
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I didn't have a clue. "Brown bag lunch," I merely said.
That conference was quiet. There was just Glenn and Valerie discussing whether they can beg out or now. Neobie was tight-lipped. I returned to typing my news articles, which has been my saving grace on a surprisingly light day, thanks to the vice presidential debates.
Read more »
Niko Batallones writes The Upper Blog.
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