I've not been thinking of much over the past few weeks. In fact, I've just been smug here, on the middle computer overlooking the window, watching the rain fall on the Ortigas Center, or in other times, just watching the sun set, which is ironic, because I don't even see the sun from where I am.

I'm actually thankful that the folks at Seattle decided to play with our assignments, which meant I was off the profiles, and back to writing news articles. Even funnier, I got a section all to myself, at least within the team: the film news section. While I try to resist myself from writing about the impending Twilight film - although I am compelled to since it's got broad appeal, and it's an inevitable conversation started with Carmel - I find a little fun in finding out things that actually make me feel connected to the world. That may have entailed an hour-long sequence of looking for suitable news articles and finding a good photo to crop, and it is a routine after all, but for once, it's something exciting.

I'm also thankful to myself, that I finally had the gall to leave for lunch without hesitation, and be willing to walk longer distances for it. Only with my earphones, I walk along mall corridors trying to figure out where to eat next, without having to contend with the entire district's lunch crowd. Yesterday, I think I spent too much on lunch, but as my mother told her friends, it's the only thing I'm splurging on. That might've made me look like a glutton, but that's what the world is for.

I'm also - this will be the last one - thankful for serendipity, for the little things I learn along the way, intentionally or unintentionally. I've been catching up on Arrested Development lately, not realizing that I've actually watched half the episodes, or have just written about it too much. Consequentially I've been walking Pearl Drive half-humiliated with the thought of me having a crush on Alia Shawkat, who apparently is just my age, unlike what I thought before. It may seem that things are going together, and actually, they are.

"So you'll stay silent again?" Monica asked over the weekend.

I'm sure I wrote a pretty convoluted answer in reply, but after that, I thought about actually staying silent. And for the past few weeks, I have been. While the rest of the floor talks, I'll be peeled to the monitor, with headphones as my weapon, snickering to whatever the Bluths are up to again, even if I've already seen the show. Arrested Development did get a dedicated fan base, and only a dedicated fan base. Why bother asking everyone to understand you?

Why bother waiting for people to approach you and make you happy?

Why bother thinking of a way to approach people so you will be happy?

For the past few weeks, I've been pretty much alone in the office. It's just me, my desk, my computer and the world scattered elsewhere. Pay no mind whether something that'll potentially throw me back to depression and insecurity is happening at stage right. I'll just not drown myself with thoughts of what might have been if I only was a much more appealing person, or if my co-workers were only more open to things. I so can't wait to resign. Blame the stripes!