One-click divorce

"I'll change my profile," Ella said. "Lalagay ko I'm married to you."

In the middle of a plot twist, I was surprised. "Serious?" I answered back.

"Ayaw mo?" she retorted.

"Did I say that?" I retorted back.

"It's okay naman, di ba?" she went. "Wala lang. Ang lonely ng Facebook ko eh."

First, I never see myself getting married. Then again, the proposal is a risk-free thing. It's just a few words on my Facebook profile. No supporting documents. No underlying commitments. Just a few words on my Facebook profile. As if to sweeten the deal, she had one more condition. "For one day lang?"

It sounded like a fun thing to do. I don't know. The best it does it surprise the people who will see it, precisely because I never see myself getting married. And, if you know both of us, you'll never find any motivation for us to get into a relationship, much more get married. (How I managed to "do" that while we're separated by six time zones, I don't know.) I was initially wary of what some people may think, but heck, it's more amusing seeing their reactions. And it's just for one day.

"I have a relationship request," I said.

"Pag di mo in-accept yan, di na kita kakausapin," she threatened.

I clicked on those four words. You have a relationship request, it said. Another page came up, outlining what I got myself into. It was surreal and all that, but I clicked on the button, and virtually conceded to fate. In a few seconds, it's official: Niko is listed as married to Dannielle Celiz Tabujara.

"Nililigawan pala kita," I joked.

"Nagising ako, married na'ko sa'yo," she joked back.

"Na-disorient ako," I said in return.

I continued clicking on a few things, out of boredom. It was past five, after all. "At least, when I 'break up' with you, walang... anything," I added. "I just click on 'cancel relationship' and that's it. I think."

"Ano ka ba!" Ella replied.

"What if ganung kadali yun, ano?" I answered. "'Let's have a divorce!' One-click divorce."

"No drama," she agreed. "Just a click on a button."

I have around twenty-four hours to wait for everybody's reaction, and then I'll click on two words somewhere on Facebook. Cancel relationship. I had a perverse feeling of excitement just thinking of that, but it was more because I'd leave some unsuspecting people puzzled, seeing a pointless exercise in clicking unfold right in front of them.

I returned to work today and checked Facebook. I did get three people to comment on my relationship's supposed status. Jenn said something. Jason said something. Caresse said something. For some reason, I can't see them, though. All I get is a notice: this posting is no longer available.

I went to Ella's profile, and I realized why. She is in an open relationship with someone else. With Caresse.

Well, that meant I didn't have to click on cancel relationship twenty-four hours after the "relationship" began. I only had to change my status back to what it's ought to be: single.

It's just funny thinking - well, speculating - that Ella got bored with me and went with somebody else. Then again, us doing this was a product of boredom, too.

It's also funny thinking that some caught on with the joke, and some thought it was really happening.

After all that - if there's anything to speak of - it only took one mouse click to, err, end everything.

So that's how a break-up feels.

And your responses...

haha! a virtual break-up!
but wouldn't it be nice to change your status from single to married when you have a boyfriend? lol. like for example, in friendster. wala lang. i find it sweet. haha!

Blogger N.10/18/2008     

Kakaibang trip. :)

Anonymous Anonymous10/18/2008     

Haha. Ibang klase ang pinagtripan ;))
Gulat nga ako, kapangalan ko rin. Haha!

Blogger Eunice!10/19/2008     

look what you did! haha! i said no drama! :-))

Anonymous Anonymous10/21/2008     

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