11/30/2008
The November compromise

"What to write, what to write..."

"Compromise."

"I forgot why I titled it compromise."

"I couldn't remind you either."

"What will you remind me of?"

"Why you titled it compromise."

"Remind me."

"Ehh... form of a closure siguro, since it's a month-ender post."

"Aha! I think it was more of a giving up. My line was, 'Did I fail? Yes.' Or, 'Did I fail? Absolutely.'"

"Aray, ha."

"Di ko lang tinuloy yun kasi, yung next question, 'What did I fail on?' and I won't have an answer."

"Everything and nothing?"

"Everything because..."

"You answer."

"Iniisip ko nga eh. I'm reading and old chat between me and my ex-co-worker. I went almost teary-eyed talking about it. This was last... Tuesday? Parang, I explained the story to her."

"And then?"

"Parang hindi niya na-realize, at hindi ko na-realize, na ganun palang... ka-intense."

I start copying text from one window, and pasting it on another. Copying and pasting and copying and pasting, about cynicism and destiny and intensity and ignorance and disappointment and anxiety attacks, for three minutes, hoping that it'll give me an idea on how to conclude everything, or start everything again.

"But you can't avoid getting hurt."

"The premise of this blog entry was to discuss just that: I can't avoid getting hurt, but somehow it feels worse than it's ever been. But within a week, it all changed. Well, more of forgotten."

"Oh well."

"What to write, what to write, what to write..."

And your responses...

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